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INSTANT DOGHOUSE -
WHAT NOT TO SAY TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND
August 26, 2007
Last Updated September 23, 2007
Page 1 of 2  (pages 1  2)                                  next page >>>


Sometimes we men say things without thinking, and then quite suddenly find ourselves squarely in the doghouse.   This short article outlines several such things that I’ve said over the years – most of which were not on purpose … but sadly some were said with the intent to annoy.   If anyone wants to add to this list, please email me at content@midlifebachelor.com

  1. I don't know what happened to the downstairs bathroom last night.
  2. Your sister looks cute today.
  3. Aren't those your fat pants?
  4. Oh - did you get your hair cut?  Don't you always wear your hair like that?
  5. Are you really going to go dressed like that?
  6. Is that a new pimple on your face?
  7. I enjoy watching television shows about men in prison.
  8. I love beer.
  9. Why do you smell like that?

First - here is a short video about how a man was placed in the doghouse for buying his wife the wrong gift ...

 

I actually had a shorter version of this list elsewhere in midlifebachelor.com – but one of my friends reminded me of several of these sayings recently, and so I thought I’d bring this to the foreground … just for fun.   Let’s take a quick look at each of these sentence treats:

1) I don't know what happened to the downstairs bathroom last night added on 9/23/07
My dear friend from Iowa, Cornfed Ed, was visiting this past weekend.  We went out bar hopping, then came back to my place and drank tequila shots and beer.  He spent the night on the downstairs couch, and left the next morning.  The problem – he trashed the downstairs bathroom.  The silk plants were all over the floor … the magazines looked like they had been wadded up … the various decorations and trinkets were all out of place.   I asked Cornfed later what happened, and he said he wasn’t sure.  Nothing was broken, yet I am clearly in the doghouse with the little woman.  ;o)

2) Your sister looks cute today.

This was one of those things I said absolutely without thinking – and it was definitely a mood-killer.  Obviously, you never want to acknowledge to your girlfriend that you think another woman is cute – and when that woman is your girlfriend’s sister, then that is double-trouble.  I said this so innocently, too … meaning that I didn’t find my girlfriend’s sister HOT.   There is just no winning with this one – it was a very dumb thing for me to say.

3) Aren’t those your fat pants?
Most women have something they wear when they are feeling fat.  If you know what that is, never call them out on it … because there is nothing you can say to a woman that will typically piss her off faster than if you say or imply that she is fat (even if she really is a fat hog).  Your best bet is to say nothing!

4) Oh – did you get your hair cut?  Or – don’t you always wear your hair like that?
Honestly, in my world I tend to pay attention to the big picture … and a lot of times when a girlfriend gets her hair trimmed, I do not notice.   But they WANT you to notice … and if you do not, and they have to tell you, then you are going to be in the doghouse.   My tip to the world is – if a woman asks you what you think about her hair, be careful how you answer.   Don’t (for example) respond with a question like the two I outline here!  Better to say something like, “Looks great – I meant to tell you earlier.”

5) Are you really going to go dressed like that?
Women usually choose their clothes pretty carefully – and if you say something like this, you are doomed to the doghouse.  If you find that your girlfriend dresses inappropriately on a regular basis, then she is tacky – and you should either live with it, or try to gently straighten her out … but this sentence doesn’t qualify as “gently”.

6) Is that a new pimple on your face?
Right now it seems so obvious to me that I wouldn’t want to even consider saying this – but I have said this on a number of occasions.   I mean – this is something I wouldn’t mind someone telling me, if I had sprouted a new pimple (which is rare) … but women just don’t want to hear it.   Don’t go there – let that new pimple of hers stare at you in silence.      Continued on next page >>>

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