We all have that one friend who is just a diehard party machine, right? I’m talking about that one friend who you can absolutely count on to take whatever the current party situation is, and kick it up a notch or two. Friends like this used to be more common when we were in our twenties – but now at midlife most of them have mellowed out considerably.
It was 10:30 p.m. on a recent Saturday night. The girlfriend (who hates alcohol and drinking, in general) had just gone to bed fifteen minutes prior - because she was really tired that evening. All of a sudden, in my quiet little neighborhood – there is a rapid sequence of knocking/pounding on my front door … followed immediately by the excessive ringing of my doorbell (ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding dong) … followed within moments by my first name being barked out loudly and repetitively … “GREG … GREG … GREG … OPEN THE DOOR … GREG”. Immediately prior - I had been sitting there in front of the TV – fortunately not in my underwear but rather in a t-shirt and jeans drinking a bottled water, and enjoying the ten o’clock news … just minding my own business when this loud and alarming set of events took place.
“JEEZ – who the hell could be at my front door doing this?”, I asked myself as I sprang to my feet and ran for the front door. Remember – my girlfriend was upstairs trying to sleep … plus I was already in the doghouse from earlier in the week for publicly pronouncing my adoration of Tsingtao® beer (see item 7 on page two of the midlifebachelor.com article entitled, “Instant Doghouse – What Not to Say to Your Girlfriend”). I opened the door – and there stood my good buddy, Rich … obviously with a major buzz. I grabbed Rich’s arm, and told him to “get in here” … as there is an LDS family that lives next door with small children, and I did not want to take the chance that they would experience any of this drama.
Now my buddy, Rich, lives a considerable distance from me – a two hour drive away, in fact. His wife NEVER lets him drink – so I asked him what was going on. He said his wife was gone for the weekend, and after enjoying a bottle (just one?) of wine, he decided that he wanted to drive out to see me. He says he tried calling my cell phone – but I never picked up. I told him that I left my cell phone OFF because I wasn’t exactly expecting a traveling party to show up … not really expecting any calls on my cell … but that my house phone/land line was working fine, and it just sat there silently all night!
Regardless we established that Rich was there at my house at 10:30 p.m. on a Saturday night with a major buzz. There was no way I was going to kick him out because he absolutely should not have been driving to begin with … plus if I did kick him out, he’d have had a two-hour drive home. I told him he was going to spend the night at my house – and he was fine with that. The girlfriend had not made a sound from upstairs – but since she is a light sleeper, I knew I was in big trouble. Rich asked me if I was in the doghouse because of him – and I told him that I was already previously in the doghouse … plus the moment he first knocked on my front door, I got into the doghouse even deeper … so there was NO TURNING BACK NOW. ;o) He then asked me the magic question, “You got any booze?” Continued on next page >>>