KNOW WHEN SHE WANTS SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME
November 15, 2008
Written by 38-year old guest female author SINgleGIRL of Sex, Lies, and Dating in the City Some midlifebachelor.com readers are brand-new bachelors after having been married for 10+ years, then getting divorced. Articles such as this PLUS our Dating Advice section can help prepare you for what is next ...
Recognize the signals your new woman is sending out – and know when she is trying to tell you that she wants to have sex with you for the very first time. Otherwise you could be heading for disaster. There are few things that can upset a woman more than her sending out those signals, and for a guy to reject her – for whatever reason! Men don’t always pick up on the signals – what a surprise … because men and women communicate differently. But guys – be extra careful about these first time sex signals … because the implications for your relationship are huge!
Very few women (at least very few women that I know) will come right out and say they want to have sex with you for the first time. They will, however, let a guy know in other ways. There is a limited window of opportunity. If a woman is signaling that she wants to get naked with you, it’s your job to pay attention and catch the pass. If you miss it then she’ll end up feeling humiliated and you’ll both end up frustrated.
This is actually a pretty common occurrence. It happened to me just a couple of months ago. I had started to date a guy who I thought had a lot of potential: early 40s, divorced dad, cute, successful, on the dating scene for a little less than a year (which isn’t quite long enough for my taste, but a girl can’t be too picky). On our third date I invited him up to my place after dinner. And well, I won’t go into the nitty-gritty here (my Sex, Lies, and Dating in the City blog readers know him as "necking guy") but he blew it. I was sending out signals and he just completely missed them.
Here were my signals:
• I suggested a restaurant near my home, so that we could go back to my place afterwards.
• I wore a much sluttier outfit than I’d worn on our previous dates.
• After dinner I guided us in a walk towards my apartment, as if it was assumed we were going there.
• When we got to my building I invited him up.
And that was just what happened before we made it up to my apartment. As far as I’m concerned, guys, I practically threw myself at him. I was so frustrated by his cluelessness that I never went out with him again. I realize that that might have been an extreme reaction, but I was really mad at the time.
In addition to the signals I mentioned above, here are a few additional clues a man should look for if he’s wondering if his date wants to have sex with him:
• More physical contact than prior dates (is she suddenly touching your arm, hand, leg, shoulder more – even if it seems playful and platonic?)
• Is she carrying a bigger bag (could mean an expected sleepover at your place)?
• Does she seem happier/flirtier/perkier? Has she turned up the volume in some way?
New relationships are great, and that first time you have sex with a new partner can be fabulous. Just pay a little bit of extra attention and you won’t be the sad, lonely guy sleeping alone because he didn’t notice his date throwing herself at him.