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Note that most of the more recent "Ask Midlife Bachelor" Questions and Answers are located on the Home PageMLB ANSWER: Jared – first do the most appropriate thing, and give thanks for fate bestowing this situation upon you ;o) You are lucky and fortunate – yes! Okay – now that we are past that, here is my advice. First of all, do not tell your girlfriend or your female friend about this … because absolutely nothing good can come from you doing that. Second, I’d suggest that you not over-think this whole thing. I mean – the 25-year old could have sent you that photo as a joke … to see how you would react, perhaps. Or she could have done it because she is interested in you. If she had sent you a full nude photo of herself, then I’d be more inclined to say she has certain things in mind for you … but based on your reaction in terms of how you worded your question to me, my guess is that it was kind of a joke. I could be wrong though. In terms of what to say to the 25-year old when you see her, I, personally, would probably say something like, “Thanks for the photo, Honey” followed by a big smile and maybe an air kiss. Good luck – please report back with what happens next!
MLB ANSWER: First of all, thanks for the photo … you definitely look like hot stuff to me. And bless your heart for being in the category of women who will put out – at times with no strings attached. Speaking for all men, we as a gender greatly appreciate this about you. ;o) The real question you pose is – if you are not getting enough at home, should you consider cheating? The answer is – that is up to you, but here are some things to think about.
First of all, would you care if he cheated on you? If the answer is “no”, then your relationship is probably more of a “relationship of convenience” versus one of true love. What I’m suggesting is that you are likely overdue for a breakup … and I say that only because fidelity appears to be unimportant at least to you. If instead you WOULD CARE if he cheated on you, then you have to decide if deceiving the person you obviously love is going to make you feel good about yourself in the long run. I mean – cheating yields bad karma, and I’m one of those people who think that bad karma follows you, and eventually catches up to you one way or another. [I’ve had a fair amount of bad karma come back and bite me in the ass – so I speak from experience.]
I’ll take a step back and now say something totally different. I have known people who could sleep with or cheat on pretty much anyone at any time – and still believe in their heart that they love their wife/girlfriend. Sex is more like a cup of coffee to this type of person – they can have it or not … with anyone … or not … and they always seem to maintain their overall sense of moral composure.
In your heart, you know the correct answer to your question about whether you should subsidize your relationship on the side. If it were me, I would carefully consider whether I want my current relationship to work in the long run, and use that to help me decide. There is a good write up of the various issues surrounding whether or not to cheat in the Short Midlife Articles section – the article is called Is Cheating on Your Wife or Girlfriend Really Worth It? You might also consider throwing this question out to the group here on our new Midlife Forums. Good luck – please let us know what you decide to do, and how it works out.
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