|STALKER EX DRIVES WOMAN CRAZY
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I love your website and I’m a woman! I was reading about the 14 Types of Women because my boyfriend says I’m high maintenance (Types of Women – High Maintenance). I didn’t understand what he meant because I am financially independent (software engineer, breed and race horses that win, professional musician). I guess I just don’t like it when he gets a little too lazy and forgets to date me. He gets comfortable and I do too but we can’t get too lazy and forget about having some fun and romance.
|Anyway - I noticed you mentioned the red flag about women who ask men to drop their friends who are women. I asked my boyfriend to drop a friend. She was a “friend with benefits”, and has been in love with him for many years … following him around wherever his band played. She refused to acknowledge my existence whenever I was around, and it just pissed me off. I’m not an insecure woman, and it wasn’t jealousy.||
I just wanted to kick her ass for some reason. He told her repeatedly to quit all contact, but she continued. She claimed that she just wanted to be friends but I just wanted to kick her ass.
Next - the woman who won't leave your boyfriend alone has "stalker" tendencies (Type of Woman - Stalker). She needs to be put in your boyfriend's rearview mirror - and that is NOT an unreasonable request on your part ... since they were “friends with benefits” at one time. You wanting him to put that woman behind him is not what I would call a unreasonably jealous behavior. It might be JUST A LITTLE jealous ... but again, I don't think what you are asking is at all unreasonable.
About you noticing random women who try to get the attention of your boyfriend – it is amusing that you want to "kick their ass". The fact is, however, that this sort of thing is going to continue happening, and there really is very little you can do about it. If you act bitchy because of it, then that evokes kind of a negative karma aura around you ... so my suggestion is that you attempt to take it in stride, almost like a compliment (since he is YOUR man).
Now I am a believer in fate and destiny ... which means that if he does stray from you because of his looks improving, etc. ... then that is simply something that is going to eventually happen anyway. My view is that all things (including relationships) have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Now that may be a bit of a dark point-of-view to share ... but it makes me appreciate the things I have RIGHT NOW. And then later on, if things change, I make the necessary adjustments at that time. For example, in the past when I have been dumped or had to terminate a relationship ... instead of getting overly depressed about it, I instead try to look forward to the next one. I remind myself of the glory of "new sex" and how hot that really is.
So to answer your question – you don’t strike me as being overly jealous, or crazy … perhaps just a little bit spirited which I think is fun, and is the opposite of boring ;o)