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DATING SOMEONE MARRIED - LIKE RIELLE HUNTER DID
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:
Do you think it is okay for a single person to go for someone who is married?  I’m thinking of the whole Rielle Hunter - John Edwards affair.  I’m a divorced woman in my late 30s, and I would NEVER date or screw a married man.  Yet when I watch TV clips of Rielle Hunter, she makes it sound like it was all just fine, that John Edwards no longer loved his wife and that made Rielle’s relationship with him acceptable.  Do midlife bachelors or men, in general, think that way?  I’ve read enough of your site here to have seen your “always go for it” motto – and that makes me think all you men think about are your rods, and where next to put them.  Maybe I’m just old fashioned but I just think fooling around with a married person is wrong.

MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER:
I, personally, do not condone extra-marital affairs
of any kind - and if you read more of this site, you will find many such references against cheating. I do sometimes debate the concept of cheating - because some people supportive of cheating have written in, and I give their viewpoints equal air time in the spirit of examining all sides of an issue. In other words, my opinions are right for me - but they may not be right for everyone.

My opinion of Rielle Hunter is that she was wrong to disrespect the marriage of John Edwards - regardless of how he conducted himself. She was obviously in awe of him - and did not take into account that fooling around with him would not only destroy his marriage, but also forever ruin his chances of being President. She was selfish - and may even have had early ideas about the affair going public, and the ensuing fame and publicity she now enjoys. In a conspiratorial sense, she may even have planned to get pregnant by John Edwards AND it is possible that she planned for that sex tape she made with him to find its way into the public domain ... all for her own benefit. Cheating on or with anyone is bad karma. Cheating with someone who is married to a cancer patient is especially bad karma. And cheating with someone when you KNOW the implications are as huge as the totality of the John Edwards affair - what could possibly be worse karma?

Regarding my ALWAYS GO FOR IT motto here on midlifebachelor.com - you have misinterpreted it. ALWAYS GO FOR IT really means "get out of your comfort zone and push the envelope" regardless of what you are doing. It doesn't suggest that a man or woman should jump into bed with anyone at the earliest possible opportunity. It is meant to be funny - and I can see how it could easily be misunderstood. Here is one example to put ALWAYS GO FOR IT into the context that I try to convey throughout midlifebachelor.com. Keep in mind that many of our readers are men (and women) who have recently divorced after having been married for many years - and they are just now trying to get comfortable in the dating world: say you are out on a first date with a woman, and it is time to tell her goodbye. You've had a nice time together, and feel like you would want to see her again. You are at her front door - she is smiling at you ... what do you do next? Do you give her a major kiss? Or a peck? Or do you shake her hand? Hell no - you ALWAYS GO FOR IT, and give her a major kiss.

The ALWAYS GO FOR IT approach of getting past your comfort zone and pushing the envelope can also be applied to one's career and/or other aspects of one's life. Most midlifebachelor.com readers are between the ages of 35 and 55 - and sometimes we've become settled in our thinking. That motto encourages kicking everything up a notch or two overall.

Back to Rielle Hunter, I watched the video clip of her interview on Oprah. I find much of what Rielle said to be ridiculous, possibly deceitful - especially the whole deal about her not thinking about burning the sex tape. She is a videographer so, of course, she knew that burning it would be the only means of destroying it. Those statements of hers alone destroy her credibility overall, in my mind.

The whole dating married men or women issue is controversial. You might consider joining our Midlife Forum here - where men and women in our age group share thoughts and perspectives on dating issues just like this one. Our forum motto is - Discuss Anything. Regret Nothing. so check it out.
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