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SHOULD I DATE A FAT WOMAN?
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:
I am 46 years old, and have been divorced for barely six months. I'm a fish out of water with respect to dating, but I've been trying the online dating thing lately and had some success - which means that I've been able to secure anywhere from one or two new dates each week from match. But none of them have "stuck" - which means I haven't really liked any of them enough to go out more than twice. My ex-wife and also all of the women I've historically gone out with have been normal-size women - like 120 pounds and under.

So here's the issue. I met a woman recently from match whose pictures of her face were just beautiful. And so is she - such a pretty woman. But she is easily 200 pounds - way
larger than anyone I've ever dated in my past. I am attracted to her but if it comes down to it, I just don't know what will happen if our clothes come off. In other words, I am concerned that I may not be attracted to her if I see her unclothed. So I'm not even sure if I want to keep dating her. What are your thoughts? Should I just try it and see? Or is the fact that I'm concerned about it enough to justify me not seeing her again? I'm just not sure about this and could use some input. I really like her as a person. What to do? Thanks for your time.

MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER:
Thanks for writing in - this is a unique topic that has not been addressed before here. It sounds to me like you are attracted to her as a person - to her personality, and to her face ... but it is her large frame that causes you distress. It also sounds like you've never before fooled around with a large woman, and so there is a lot of uncertainty in your head right now. It could be quite embarrassing for all parties if things heat up, her clothes come off, and you are not sufficiently aroused.

We have a slogan or motto here at midlifebachelor.com that states you should ALWAYS GO FOR IT, and that is exactly what I recommend you do. Otherwise you will never know. And who knows - this could be a truly exceptional woman for you ... and so you don't want such an opportunity to pass you by. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering WHAT IF?

If things don't work out in the bedroom, then be gracious and apologetic and respectful toward her. In such a case, I would not suggest that you tell her you are unattracted to her - because that will yield exceptionally bad karma toward you (and upset her, too). Treat her the way you would want to be treated if the situation were reversed. Give it a shot, see what happens, and please report back with how this works out ... as I'm quite positive there are others out there in the dating world who will struggle with this same issue at some point.

Hopefully you found this helpful. I encourage you to consider joining our Midlife Forum here on midlifebachelor.com ... where we talk about a lot of things, including dating and midlife crisis issues. We'd be happy to have you as a member of our community. Here is a link to it:  Midlife Forum

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