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Need a little advice, i.e. pep talk!

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  • Need a little advice, i.e. pep talk!

    Hey all, I've been lurking for a while and thought I'd introduce myself, I'm Flyinguy71.
    Last edited by flyinguy71; 05-11-2011, 07:39 PM.

  • #2
    Hello, flyinguy Well a few things come to mind. I had a run of down-and-out guys for meet ups at one point in my online-dating. Looking back I think it was part of a learning curve for both sorting out prospects, and figuring out what I am looking for. Maybe you are experiencing that as well. Sounds like it may be a good thing that some of them dissappeared, from how you described them!

    My other idea is, well, no offense- but are you boring? I mean, you described yourself very tightly, and what's with the 2 cycles? If you talk about those on a date, then -zzzzzzzzz.

    But lots of guys are just plain boring to sit around in a restaurant with. What can you offer for a fun date, romantic date, relaxing date, interesting place to visit (if she likes that sort of thing), or etc.? For example, I like going to historic places, comedy shows, active dates like bike trails.... does that make sense?

    Hopefully during your 5-month break from dating, you have pursued some fun and relaxing things YOU like to do. BTW, Are you a pilot? A flight date is AWESOME! You can relax, and she can enjoy the ride (hopefully!) and the destination.

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    • #3
      Haha!

      Ummm........yeah, I'm VERY boring, I enjoy watching bread mold while the Dr. Phil show is playing in the background to "kick it up a little." LOL, just kiddding. I've taken my dates on picnics in nice parks complete with the old fashioned basket, art museums, walks at a nature preserve, even one date to the truck mud bogs, (she wanted to go) I've never been accused of being boring, and am actually quite a smart aleck who can make most women laugh, so I don't think that's my problem. Btw....the bikes were just mentioned to try to show that I'm NOT the boring and prudish type.
      Last edited by flyinguy71; 04-29-2011, 02:49 PM.

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      • #4
        Well excuuuuuuuuuse me!

        About the bikes; I noticed the trend for guys in late 40's age group of 1. travel 2. motorcycles. Guess that's why I noticed.

        HEY those sound like fun dates to me- I think you're just barking up the wrong trees!
        Last edited by A OK; 04-26-2011, 06:41 PM.

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        • #5
          I get what you're saying, I've had motorcycles since I was 5 and corvettes since I was mid 20's so I guess I don't fall into those "categories." I've really felt I have been keeping an open mind but the trees I'm barking up have most definately been the wrong ones, question is where are the "right trees?" LOL!

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          • #6
            Originally posted by flyinguy71 View Post
            Now starts my problem...........I have just had sooooo much bad luck dating since my divorce! Seems every woman I've dated has some sort baggage, is crazy, delusional, a gold digger, a liar, a cheater, married, or just disappears for no apparent reason! UGH!
            Curious - how long / how many dates does it take for you to discover they are a liar, or a gold digger, etc. etc.? Is this something you detect on the first meetup, or does it take a few dates or even longer?

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            • #7
              Hello fllyinguy71 - you have landed in the right place. ha ha This group here is all about sharing dating experiences at midlife - and so I think there is much to learn, and much for you to share here over time.

              You said you are running into a lot of misfit dating candidates - but you did not say where you are meeting them. Are you doing the online dating thing? Which site? I believe Mr. Mudd (midlife dater extraordinaire) recommends match dot com the most - so if you are not using that service, you might try it. Note that you can save yourself some money by looking at the offers on our Online Dating Discounts page.

              So my first piece of advice is - maybe consider mixing up how or where you are meeting these women. Maybe decide on a particular TYPE of woman that you want to date ... then figure out where this type of woman is likely to hang out ... and then place yourself there. This sort of thing is discussed at length in the Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success section of Midlife Dating Advice - all here on midlifebachelor.com.

              The other thing I can tell you is - sometimes you have to cycle through a large number of women before you find one that is good for you. The challenge here is not to get discouraged. Hell - at least you are getting dates, right? That's better than sitting home alone. Practice makes perfect ... waste not, want not!

              That is the best advice I can give you - based on what I see above, Sir.

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              • #8
                Welcome sir!

                Sounds like you are making a lot of progress just by meeting all these women and figuring out what you are looking for. Unless you order a female robot you will probably not meet a midlife chick who doesn't have some 'baggage.'

                That is great that you have been on a bunch of dates. What helps for me is to try not to take it all too seriously. If I meet a wierdo, golddigger (I just show them my car and they stop bothering me...or show them a picture of the vettes I used to have like my ZR1 and THEN show them my car haha), total b*tch, nutcase etc...I just try to enjoy the person and experience as much as possible.

                You might meet somebody with a lot of baggage who you don't want to date further but can become a valuable asset as a chick friend.

                Good luck!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by kjmudd View Post
                  ... Unless you order a female robot you will probably not meet a midlife chick who doesn't have some 'baggage.'
                  A blow-up doll could be a better alternative than a robot - although the robot might be able to vaccuum your home.

                  Originally posted by kjmudd View Post
                  ...
                  You might meet somebody with a lot of baggage who you don't want to date further but can become a valuable asset as a chick friend.
                  Excellent point out making new chick friends - they are an EXTREMELY VALUABLE ASSET in all cases!

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                  • #10
                    Welcome!!

                    Everyone already asked really good questions....You sound like a friend of mine that had bad date after bad date. Took her a year to find someone she liked and liked her. It's hard out there.

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                    • #11
                      OK.......

                      Where to start............I am thinking of writing a book about my dating life, WOW the stories I could tell would make you guys laugh, cry, turn red, and make you put your palm on your forehead in disbelief on how I could find these "gems!" LOL!
                      Last edited by flyinguy71; 04-29-2011, 01:36 PM.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by flyinguy71 View Post
                        Where to start............I am thinking of writing a book about my dating life, WOW the stories I could tell would make you guys laugh, cry, turn red, and make you put your palm on your forehead in disbelief on how I could find these "gems!" LOL!

                        Ok, I've met these women on Facebook, Plenty of Fish,(took my profile down) restaurants, bars, through friends, church, medical supply house, customers, one old gf from 20 years ago, bon fires, and blind dates (never again btw). I've seen most all of the same women on Match that were on Plenty of Fish by the way. Finding out women's dirty laundry rather quickly is a "gift" I have, most women tell me they feel very comfortable around me so they tend to "cough up" things right away. Two of the previous mentioned were strippers! (And no, I DID NOT meet them in strip clubs, not my thing)
                        WOW you see opportunity EVERYWHERE. Way to go!

                        Instead of writing about your past dating life, start up a new thread here chronicling your new adventures... I think we'd all learn a thing or two from it.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by mbxdad View Post
                          WOW you see opportunity EVERYWHERE. Way to go!

                          Instead of writing about your past dating life, start up a new thread here chronicling your new adventures... I think we'd all learn a thing or two from it.
                          That's an easy one, my new thread is gonna be called "0" because that is exactly how much dating I've been doing in the last 5 months, I think I'm "retiring!" LOL!

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                          • #14
                            Flyinguy, I do believe we are prodding you to get back in the dating mix! I think this is as good a time as any to start.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by A OK View Post
                              Flyinguy, I do believe we are prodding you to get back in the dating mix! I think this is as good a time as any to start.
                              I am getting a little bored and lonely, only problem is I have zero prospects at the moment.

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