What is Normal? (how many dates before sex)

[SamtheDog]

Yes. That sounds like an excellent idea.

Stay away from the holy rollers....but then again, most of them are 'reformed' from one vice or another...how are the chicks there at church ?

[DevotedDad]

Relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/1...#ixzz1jDBuDjAm

[Vienna]

Relationships fared better and better the longer a person waited to have sex, up until marriage, with those hitting the sack before a month showing the worst outcomes.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/1...#ixzz1jDBuDjAm

I would think that putting off sox is a great way to measure if a person is interested in a long term relationship. Hey - If they can tolerate it now - wait until your married (just kidding).

I have also noticed that a lot of the couples who have a more stable and loving marriage had a separation during the courtship (college or military).

[kjmudd]

Not sure if this thread is stale....but I thought I'd post my 2 cents anyway.

No wonder I've always felt abnormal. I had no clue what the majority thought was "normal".

Looks like, from the posts in response to this topic, I'm in the super minority perspective.....and look at things from a "big picture" POV rather than a myopically focused "here and now", "life is short" perspective.

Everyone has a right to their opinion, but the fact is You don't have a clue what someone is really like after only three dates.

I'm assuming based on the majority of responses that the physical act is devoid of any emotional aspects, because after three dates you're barely beyond acquaintances.

Let's see, three dates over a course of 3 weeks = a possibility of having slept with 17 people within the past year.

I know it's the extreme example...point being does the thought of someone having slept with even half that quantity of different people within the last year make them more or less attractive as they are standing in front of you ?

Not the mileage or morals I'm looking for.


And answer this.... If able to separate the physical from the emotional....WHEN do you attempt to connect the two ? Is there a formula for that too ? 3 dates = physical, + 3 more physical = 7th date some emotional elements ?

Just have always been curious.

There is no formula. Everybody is different.

While there are exceptions sex can contribute to distortions unless your goal is to hit it and quit it.

Previously my dating posture was to focus on 1 chick, start sex no later than 3rd date and stick out the gf/bf thing as long as possible. Sometimes the sex would accelerate the emotional aspect. I think this approach of mine was wrong.

Now, I am cultivating X number of chicks strictly for sex and trying to meet X number for possibly more. The chicks for sex know (or should know) I am not serious with them. They want more than that but too bad.

At this time the hot salsa chick is the only one possibly in the 2nd category. We talk on the phone etc. and will go on some more dates. Most importantly she is making more salsa for me....more about food than sex with her haha.

[LuLu]

The point the earlier poster made about online dating is really important, here.
You might wind up going out with a lot of guys/women (maybe 4 or more a month), and not wanting to sleep with any of them. As a woman, I am selective, that's all. And I do expect good manners, whether we are talking about at the table or near the bedroom. Gregory's list of types of women goes for guys, too. Who wants to sleep with "The Dullard" or the "Psycho" man? And sometimes you just don't know until a few dates. (Some you know in the first 15 minutes.)

I have been on a popular online dating site for a few months and found guys using this "3 date rule." It was offputting, to say the least, until I caught on. Now, I use it as a "test" for them--to see how lame they are. If I get asked out again for #4 without having sex on #3, he passes. If he even mentions the "3 date rule" I know he's so gauche I wouldn't think of considering him.

One fellow, who took me out on my birthday said, "What did you expect, posting your profile on an online dating site?" This was the "magic" date number three. He also informed me, as we had discussed the topic, that he didn't use condoms and I said that would be a problem in the future if we ever did sleep together. He gave me a long song and dance about his only sleeping with "nice" women and his not needing to use condoms...he was married 20 years and is 48...and I said he was delusional and behind the times. He wound up later getting tested positive for STDs and also finding out he had contracted herpes from one of the "nice" women.
We have actually become good friends as he shares his online dating experiences with me then wonders why he hasn't found "true love." Women open their legs but not their hearts to him. He has been doing this for two years.
The thing is, people keep their profiles up, so, you have sex with a guy, but he's still trolling on the website. If you can handle the game, fine, otherwise, wait until you feel the relationship is ready.

I suppose it's all about expectations and individual choice. I read the administrator's wild bachelor antics and wonder if as a woman I should experiment more. Then, I go out with guys who have not read those tips about grooming, manners, etc., and it's just a sexual turn-off. A charming man who smells great and treats me sweetly may earn my trust; a bounder who has the "3 date sex mandate" just doesn't.

Our culture is replete with "getting it on," but with so little feeling--it's so banal after awhile.For me the best sex is between two people who really care about each other; they are friends, lover, mates... and share experiences, hopes, fears, dreams. Maybe that's that thing we used to call love.

[lff44]

Our culture is replete with "getting it on," but with so little feeling--it's so banal after awhile.For me the best sex is between two people who really care about each other; they are friends, lover, mates... and share experiences, hopes, fears, dreams. Maybe that's that thing we used to call love.

Very true and well said.

[A OK]

Lulu that is so beatifully put, and thanks for taking the time to write that.

[Longboarder]

I dont think I will have a hard fast "3 date rule" but if I think Im getting strung along I will dump her.