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  1. #1
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    Default Update on my situation.

    As a lot of the people here know my marriage has been slowing disintegrating. I feel like one of those guys from the WWII films, you know the one of a B-17 slowing spiraling to the earth as buddies in other plane are begging them to get out and eventually a couple of parachutes open before the plane crashes and burns. Well, thats my marriage. Sex is at an all time low in frequency as is even the occasional hug. I compensate by burying myself in work and working out. More than a few times I have gotten "Why are we married we never do anything together" and stuff like that thrown at me. I feel like a stranger in my own house (Note:I will not use the word home as that con-notates that a family lives there). Found out the other day that my daughter has taken up smoking when I caught her outside doing it, said I was going to tell her mom and she said she already knows, Im like WTF, I guess Im odd man out here. She went ballistic when I told her my buddies and I were going for 10 days and surf our way down to Cabo. Surfari!!!

    Im about 60 days from moving my business out of the house then there is really nothing that ties me to this place, anything left behind is just "stuff" and "stuff" can be replaced. Got a ray of hope a while back, met with an old friend and mention very briefly my impending separation/divorce. Shortly thereafter I was contacted through social media by and old female friend where we chatted (I suspect she heard through the grapevine about me as she didn't really have an answer as to why she initiated contact). Anyways after long chats she wants me to "look her up" when I free. She also told me that Im Hot Hot Hot and cant believe how stupid my wife is. I told my friend that I wont cheat but after Im gone all bets are off. We have not met in person and I probably wont. I have seen her pics and she is absolutely gorgeous.

    I see a light at the end of the tunnel but it cant come too soon for me. As I said before I have really taken my fitness to another level, it really helps fend off the depression this marriage brings me.

    Oh, just for the ladies, I got a new profile pic.

  2. #2
    kjmudd is offline Midlife Bachelor Hall of Fame Award Recipient
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longboarder View Post
    As a lot of the people here know my marriage has been slowing disintegrating. I feel like one of those guys from the WWII films, you know the one of a B-17 slowing spiraling to the earth as buddies in other plane are begging them to get out and eventually a couple of parachutes open before the plane crashes and burns. Well, thats my marriage. Sex is at an all time low in frequency as is even the occasional hug. I compensate by burying myself in work and working out. More than a few times I have gotten "Why are we married we never do anything together" and stuff like that thrown at me. I feel like a stranger in my own house (Note:I will not use the word home as that con-notates that a family lives there). Found out the other day that my daughter has taken up smoking when I caught her outside doing it, said I was going to tell her mom and she said she already knows, Im like WTF, I guess Im odd man out here. She went ballistic when I told her my buddies and I were going for 10 days and surf our way down to Cabo. Surfari!!!

    Im about 60 days from moving my business out of the house then there is really nothing that ties me to this place, anything left behind is just "stuff" and "stuff" can be replaced. Got a ray of hope a while back, met with an old friend and mention very briefly my impending separation/divorce. Shortly thereafter I was contacted through social media by and old female friend where we chatted (I suspect she heard through the grapevine about me as she didn't really have an answer as to why she initiated contact). Anyways after long chats she wants me to "look her up" when I free. She also told me that Im Hot Hot Hot and cant believe how stupid my wife is. I told my friend that I wont cheat but after Im gone all bets are off. We have not met in person and I probably wont. I have seen her pics and she is absolutely gorgeous.

    I see a light at the end of the tunnel but it cant come too soon for me. As I said before I have really taken my fitness to another level, it really helps fend off the depression this marriage brings me.

    Oh, just for the ladies, I got a new profile pic.
    Sounds like a frustrating situation but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    You are playing it pretty cool. I would have probably blown it up by now. Good luck with all of that.

  3. #3
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    KJ, it really is like I'm a third wheel around here and no one appreciates what I do for them or have done. This smoking thing just shows how they really don't care what I think.

  4. #4
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    I am reading this and I can't help but think damn, I have no clue what I would do in this situation. I stress enough what might be going through your head right now, but look at the positives, when one door closes, another one opens, yes you may be losing your marriage but, you never know what might end up coming your way once your free of the negativity. Best of luck man and hope everything works out for you.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rogue View Post
    I am reading this and I can't help but think damn, I have no clue what I would do in this situation. I stress enough what might be going through your head right now, but look at the positives, when one door closes, another one opens, yes you may be losing your marriage but, you never know what might end up coming your way once your free of the negativity. Best of luck man and hope everything works out for you.
    Thanks, Im suffering right now but it wall all be better soon, thats what I keep telling myself.

  6. #6
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    Default I have been there and I found happiness

    Quote Originally Posted by Longboarder View Post
    Thanks, Im suffering right now but it wall all be better soon, thats what I keep telling myself.


    Longboarder- I was exactly where you were at 10 years ago- had a bad 22 year marriage- gott creamed in the divorce overcam that- found my tru love and sadly she passed away.

    So i am really widowed and although I have not found a winner yet- I do get lots of chances but I am so so selective

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimsc View Post
    Longboarder- I was exactly where you were at 10 years ago- had a bad 22 year marriage- gott creamed in the divorce overcam that- found my tru love and sadly she passed away.

    So i am really widowed and although I have not found a winner yet- I do get lots of chances but I am so so selective
    I wont get creamed in this divorce, she has too much to lose if she fights me, Im going to pay off her car, let her keep her pension and let her have the house with about 200K equity, all I want is my freedom, my cars and my business. I have a very sizable estate outside the marriage not subject to community property laws. Finding women wont be hard, Im in better shape than most men 1/2 my age, make well over 6 figures a year, intelligent, and according to my female friends, smoking hot.

  8. #8
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    Yeah, it sounds like your body is there in the marriage, but your mind has already started focusing on living your new life. A lot of women, whether or not they know for sure a man is going to leave them, can still feel that "absence" just as if it were real. Even if she doesn't know officially that you're planning to leave, I'd bet my bottom dollar she senses it. And living with someone you know is going to leave doesn't make it easy to pretend everything is normal ... let alone want to be intimate with them. So, yes, you are a stranger in your own house. You no longer feel you belong there, and I imagine a part of you already stopped considering it your "family home" a long time ago.

    Tick tock, tick tock... this will soon be over and you'll be able to breathe again.

    Karine

    P.S. Great pic! You should be proud of your hard work.

  9. #9
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    Vienna is offline Top Female Midlifebachelor.com Contributor & Goddess
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longboarder View Post
    ....Finding women wont be hard, Im in better shape than most men 1/2 my age, make well over 6 figures a year, intelligent, and according to my female friends, smoking hot.
    Due to the high demand and limited LB availiability, I am going to start a Longboarder Lotto. Selling tickets at $100 a shot.

    Public services announcements will be posted all along the west coast.

    All proceeds are going to support my favorite charity - ME

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karine View Post
    Yeah, it sounds like your body is there in the marriage, but your mind has already started focusing on living your new life. A lot of women, whether or not they know for sure a man is going to leave them, can still feel that "absence" just as if it were real. Even if she doesn't know officially that you're planning to leave, I'd bet my bottom dollar she senses it. And living with someone you know is going to leave doesn't make it easy to pretend everything is normal ... let alone want to be intimate with them. So, yes, you are a stranger in your own house. You no longer feel you belong there, and I imagine a part of you already stopped considering it your "family home" a long time ago.

    Tick tock, tick tock... this will soon be over and you'll be able to breathe again.

    Karine

    P.S. Great pic! You should be proud of your hard work.
    Karine, I did "check out" about 2 years ago and somehow Im sure she senses it in some way, its only getting worse as time goes by. Funny thing about this is she has exactly followed in her mothers footsteps who was also divorced in mid life by her father.

    P.S. thanks for the compliment

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