How Long Do You Date Someone Before Becoming Exclusive?

[kjmudd]

I get impatient after about 8 or 9 "dates" so for me it is 8 "dates" or 45 days. If you have made it that far then it is worth giving it a go.

What do you guys think?

KJM

[Phillyboy]

Well, KJ…this reminds of the old question…How long should your legs be? (A: Long enough to reach the ground.)

In other words, I don’t think there is a “one size fits all answer here.” My current gf and I became “exclusive” almost right away…we didn’t really ever have a conversation to establish this at all, we just both had busy schedules and had spent a fair amount of time dating idiots up to that point and we’re quite happy with each other from the onset, that neither of us really wanted to spend any more time seeing other people. However, I’ve also dated people for extended periods of time without ever becoming exclusive…these were women that were, “good enough for a while, but no one, I would be heartbroken over not seeing any more. There was one woman I went out with quite a few times and had regular communication with over a 4 month period, but we both we’re still dating others during that time…she eventually disappeared, which I assumed was due to she met someone she wanted to be exclusive with or she simply decided she wasn’t that into me (likely a little of both).

So, I think it depends on the people involved and what they both want.

[kjmudd]

I am more confused than ever about when to become exclusive. Today I was about to ask my GF to become exclusive and she flaked on me before I could get to it so I ended it

Good news is I found out she was a psycho which led me to dumping her....but I am bummed it didn't work out.

KJM

[gregory]

What did she do that made you think she is PSYCHO??? Sounds like there is more to this story than what I see above ... because you went from wanting to "go steady" to a nuclear detonation (no survivors).

Is it possible that you expected too much or too soon out of this woman? Remember - if you have zero expectations, then you'll never get let down!

[kjmudd]

Originally Posted by gregory

What did she do that made you think she is PSYCHO??? Sounds like there is more to this story than what I see above ... because you went from wanting to "go steady" to a nuclear detonation (no survivors).

Is it possible that you expected too much or too soon out of this woman? Remember - if you have zero expectations, then you'll never get let down!

She based the potential for a successfull relationship on the horoscope (psycho). That was enough for me and the second time she mentioned it so I said I have zero tolerance for "hot and cold bs"....if you are into somebody you are in all the way. So I ended it over the phone, which is what she wanted anyway.

As far as expectations I keep mine REALLY low.

When things are going really GOOD it is natural to expect GOOD....understanding people have off days and get moody etc.

The concept of Zero Expectations sounds like good salve when people dissapoint. It is like saying "what is there to lose?" Is there a Zero Expectation Pill out there? ha ha I would be interested in a prescription.

I was in a marriage for 9 years where I had close to zero expectations and it was a ZERO in every sense of the word.

Sure we can work to not take things personally and I think I am doing a lot better at that than say 1 year ago but I EXPECT a girl to meet my very reasonable standards or they don't deserve to be with me.

Hot and cold bs for whatever reason is whacked. I do not tolerate it and that is why there are "no survivors."

KJM