How Often Do You Contact GF?

kjmudd · #1 01-21-2010, 10:07 AM

Assuming all things going okay....how often do you contact your gf early in a relationship?

I am in week 4 of new gf relationship. Should I call her every day? Typically she initiates more contact than I do.

KJM

Shooter · #2 01-21-2010, 10:26 AM

Once again, I think it totally depends on the person. My gf started a contact pattern with me very early on, within the first couple/few weeks, and she maintains it today. She texts me good morning every morning early, she calls me on my way into work, she texts me occasionally through my work day, she calls me on my way home from work, and she calls me after I put my son to bed at night. Our evening calls are shorter now, we used to talk for hours. Now, we do something I read on something to do to help long distance relationships and that's we watch tv programs together over the phone. Unfortunately, my tv is several seconds delayed over hers, so that makes it a little awkward at times.

kjmudd · #3 01-22-2010, 03:23 PM

That is good input shooter.

I am really consistent with my communication as long as there is an interested. I think "good mornings" "howz it going" and such are important to show you care etc.

The girl I am dating has been less communicative over the last few days and a lot slower to respond so I take that as a waning interest so I am going to probably "go dark" on her for about 18 hours to shake things up.

If there is a pattern of good communication and that suddenly changes then I get annoyed and cut them off to weed out possible flakes.

KJM

gregory · #4 01-23-2010, 08:21 AM

I've dated women who call way too much - and for me that's more than twice a day (because I've always been really busy work-wise). And I've dated others who could easily go a day or two without hearing from me. I think you often set the "call frequency" bar or expectation early in the relationship - and you can tell fairly quickly if someone is going to be a bit on the needy side. Someone who is too needy is often a lot of fun in the sack, but then can turn into sort of a maintenance headache as time passes.

All that said - the whole "call frequency" thing depends on YOU ... as in what you like or prefer or expect. For me - more than two calls a day is too much ... but for others, four or five or six might be appropriate.

I don't think that I could spend hours on the phone with anyone at this point. Maybe once or twice with someone new - but I pretty much hate the phone! Everyone is different though ...

kjmudd · #5 01-23-2010, 01:04 PM

I do a lot of texting, which is a great way to stay in touch without taking up a lot of time.

A little update here on my current gf......unlike my last gf who was Canadian....she is not afraid of hard work. She works her sexy butt off as a massage therapist and tax accountant. This is a little new to me...having a gf who is not a lazy slob so I may have just been overreacting to her.

She has not been feeling well so I offerred to take her food etc while she gets better.

I would think more than 2 phone calls per day would be excessive.

KJM

Shooter · #6 01-23-2010, 08:29 PM

We spent hours on the phone because we were eager to learn about each other and enjoyed each other's company. Due to the distance, we were not able to do so in person, so had to do it over the phone a lot.

kjmudd · #7 01-24-2010, 10:21 AM

Well I think I am getting played a bit by this chick so I am dumping her today.

KJM

misunderstood · #8 01-25-2010, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gregory

- and you can tell fairly quickly if someone is going to be a bit on the needy side. Someone who is too needy is often a lot of fun in the sack, but then can turn into sort of a maintenance headache as time passes.

This is a very interesting observation! How did you come to this conclusion? Can you elaborate some more? Would this needy behavior also apply to someone jumping in the sack very early, like say the first or second date?

I had a GF a long time ago that I thought was that way. On later reflection, I realized that our relationship started very fast and very heavy because we both filled immediate needs of physical satisfaction. The excitement factor was through the roof. What later happened was that after the physical side of the relationship settled down, we were faced with the task of providing each other with emotional satisfaction to complete the cycle. Unfortunately, we had nothing in common. I interpreted this as her being too needy and immediately severed the relationship. Was she really being needy or did she just want the complete satisfaction that I couldn't fill for her because I had nothing more that would stimulate her?

gregory · #9 01-25-2010, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misunderstood

This is a very interesting observation! How did you come to this conclusion?? Can you elaborate some more? Would this needy behavior also apply to someone jumping in the sack very early, like say the first or second date?

I have had a lot of practice! I've just noticed a pattern that, in general, the more needy a woman is - the more often she'll want you in the sack. This is especially true at the front-end of any new relationship when things are especially steamy. Needy women NEED YOU ... and it is nice to be needed ... until it possibly becomes too much, and can eventually become annoying! It all depends upon the woman ... how needy she is ... and what your own situation is. It can be great ... or it can become a huge headache.

Quote:

Originally Posted by misunderstood

I had a GF a long time ago that I thought was that way ... Was she really being needy or did she just want the complete satisfaction that I couldn't fill for her because I had nothing more that would stimulate her?

Hey - there is nothing wrong with being needy ... and I certainly do not want to discourage women from jumping into the sack with us really quickly. Some relationships are simply doomed to peter out after the sex wears off. And some other relationships will persist and endure. In other words, it is no one's fault - it just is what it is. Best to enjoy what you can, and not over-analyze ... unless you, yourself, feel like you made some mistakes ... in which case, it never hurts to learn from those mistakes, right?

I'm sure that women would say that we men can also be needy ...

gladius · #10 02-01-2010, 11:30 PM

I like to call women less often than they call me. Call too much and they think you're needy; wait and they begin to wonder if you're losing interest. I've never been with a woman who calls more than once a day. They're busy/I'm busy, calls can tend to get long, and so on. I do like talking on the phone (particularly with some women) but once a day is certainly enough.

I suppose if one lives with a woman things are different --- perhaps a few, short calls to discuss dinner, etc....