Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success
Step 3: Figure Out What Kind of Woman You are Looking for
and Date Her
<<< back to Step 2: Conquer the Basics & Start Dating ..... next page >>>
Let’s now assume or presume that you have mastered the art of dating … that you can ask a woman out, have fun on your dates, and turn a woman into your full-time girlfriend if you wish. Since you supposedly know the mechanics of what you are doing, now might be the time to for you to start looking for someone you want to date (versus someone you simply can date). The transition from being “able to date” to “dating who you want” is actually quite huge – and I don’t mean to minimize that hurdle by any means. Some guys never make the transition … or never get to the point of being able to date successfully to begin with. If you recognize these individual steps you are going through, and self-analyze where you are failing – you are much more likely to develop your own self-corrective action plan … which is Step 4 (which I’ll discuss shortly).
To successfully transition from Step 2 to Step 3, you need to have some sort of idea what kind of woman will make you happy in the long-term. This is a hard question to answer for many of us. Many midlife bachelors initially focus on the wrong attributes – like basing requirements purely on looks, and/or great sex. It seems like the longer I have been a bachelor, the more I have focused on a balance of characteristics … nice-looking, nice teeth, good family, high integrity, and easy-going seem to be the attributes of women that I have enjoyed dating the most. Of course, my own history is spotted with exceptions to women with those qualities. For example, whenever I have changed girlfriends in the past, I usually go from the “quiet conservative” type over to the “hot-looking party chick” type, and then back again. For example, Joyce was the hot divorcee I met on-line – she was very quiet and conservative (except in the bedroom) … but honestly, I got kind of bored with her over time … and so the next woman I dated was Debi the hot Latina nurse … who drank excessively, but was a ton of fun in the bedroom as well as overall. They say the hottest fires burn out the quickest – and although Debi lasted more than a year, that relationship was probably doomed from the start (because she was such a party chick). I knew in my heart when I was dating Debi that the woman I needed long-term was someone more conservative … someone who didn’t drink huge amounts of alcohol every night … someone who didn’t yell at me in public places … someone more like Joyce, but who I wouldn’t get bored with. Mine is a tall order – and maybe that is one reason why I’m still not married!
You’ve got to figure out what type of woman is right for you. You have to date a bunch of different types of women to know what suits your personality the best over the long haul. As I mentioned earlier, you cannot jump to a particular conclusion in your first year of midlife bachelorhood (rebound scenario) because you just have not experienced enough of the women out there to know for sure what is best for you. My advice is that you give everything time … the time for you to date different women, and be better self-educated on what YOU NEED in a relationship in the long-run. I caution you to look past good looks and good sex – those things fade out over time … they are the last things you want a long-term relationship based on.
Next >>> How do you know what "the right kind of woman" for you is?
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