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Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success

Step 4:  Periodic Re-evaluation of your Midlife Bachelor Strategy

<<< back to Step 3: Figure out what type of Woman you are looking for & date her

The final element of any good midlife bachelor strategy for success must always be periodic re-evaluation of your current strategy.   Every couple of months, you need to take inventory of everything and figure out what you have learned about yourself, about the effectiveness of the way you are conducting yourself, about how you are attempting to meet the woman of your dreams, etc. … and then you need to make the necessary adjustments.   Every single midlife bachelor out there is going to make mistakes … is going to have a unique set of personal challenges to overcome.   It is fine to make mistakes – everyone does.  The key to moving forward with your life is to learn from those mistakes, and not repeat them.   You most definitely need to take the time necessary to look at your own personal actions and attributes, and try to differentiate between standard rejections you may have received versus rejection you’ve received due to misplaced effort on your part.   In other words, if you are repeatedly failing at some aspect of dating – you have to ask yourself why, and then adjust what you are doing accordingly.

For example, let’s say you cannot for the life of you get a damn date.  There could be many reasons for this – but there is always a solution.   It might be that your teeth are jacked up – so get your ass to a dentist or orthodontist immediately.   It could be some other element of your appearance – like maybe your sense of overall fashion is poor … so get some advice from a good female friend, and buy the kind of clothes that she suggests.   Maybe the problem is behavioral, not physical – maybe you are asking out women who are “out of your league” … too good-looking to go out with someone who looks like you.  The solution there is to lower your standards until you find your point of equilibrium.   I’m not necessarily saying that you should just date the chubby/homely women – but kick everything down a notch, and get some experience dating.   You might find yourself getting more comfortable and successful with better-looking women after your self-confidence improves after dating a few lower-tier women.

My “day job” is being a sales manager for a technology company.  Some of the products we make are real time control systems.  These systems run an algorithm which keeps whatever they are controlling within a certain tolerance.   They basically control some critical process – which could be anything.   It is sort of analogous to your home thermostat – you set it at a specific temperature, and either the heater or the air conditioner kicks on whenever the temperature goes past a certain threshold.  Step 4 here is all about YOU being the control system, or the thermostat …  if you drift too far out of the desired range, then you adjust yourself to get back where you need to be.  But instead of just a hot/cold air adjustment – you have a lot more potential personal variables to work with.   Go through all of the individual items that I’ve discussed in this and previous sections – the more detail you dive into about yourself, the more likely you are to be able to optimize yourself and your strategy.  If you are cognizant of every single aspect of yourself, you will eventually figure out what you are doing right, and what you are doing wrong.  If you are unsure, then ask a female friend or two for their opinions.   Trial and error is fine – that often is the only way for a midlife bachelor who is extremely out of practice to determine his own strengths and weaknesses as a single man.  Don’t ever give up – just re-evaluate, and be ready to make the necessary adjustments.   Leverage your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, adjust your strategy accordingly - and move forward with your life, my brother.

Next Section >>> Reaching Midlife Bachelor Personal Equilibrium


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Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success

   Step 1:  Set your short-term & long-term dating objectives

        How long have you been single?

        Do you want to stay single?

        Are you better off being single?

        Rebound – Does fear of being single drive your behavior?

        Understanding your current needs vs your longer-term needs

        Define your objectives

               Midlife Bachelor Objective Roadmap

   Step 2:  Conquer the Basics and Start Dating   

        Developmental Dating

               Identify a Potential Date

               Asking for the Date

               The First Date with Any Woman

               Watch for Signs or Signals

                     The Look

               Saying Goodnight or Goodbye on the First Date or Two

                     Goodnight kiss

               The Three Date Rule

                     Time to Dump her?

               What’s Next After Three Dates?

        Lead Generation – Finding New Women to Date

               Get Out and Be Seen

                    Always Say Something

                          Use What You’ve Got 

                                Exploit your personal strengths

                                Minimize Your Weaknesses

                    Maximize Your Opportunities

                          Plant seeds in the overall community of women

                          Leverage your friendships

                               Go on a Blind Date

                          Pick the low-hanging fruit first

               Make use of Today’s Technology – Internet Dating

   Step 3:  Figure out what kind of woman you are looking for and date her

        How do you know what the right kind of woman for you is?

        Focus on Meeting the Right Type of Woman 

   Step 4:  Periodic Re-evaluation of your Midlife Bachelor Strategy