Fundamental Truth #9 (continued) / page 6
Women with Children can be Challenging
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Key Principle #5 for Behavior when Dating a Woman with Children
If the children act up, let the mother deal with it.
This Key Principle is an add-on to previous Key Principle #4 (Never question or differ with the opinion of the mother concerning her children.) Some people might think after reading about KP #4, that this new Key Principle #5 is obvious – but I’m not so sure. I’ve learned in the past that if something is important to take notice of – that it is always better to state it or discuss it rather than just assume or presume it.
If a child of a single mother you are dating acts up – without question, your safest bet is to let the mother deal with it herself. If instead you decide to be the authority figure, you run the risk of alienating both the child and the mother. The newer the relationship with the single mother – the more what I’m saying here holds true. Over time (a long time, mind you), you very well might mutually decide with the input of the mother what the various boundaries are with respect to her children (and vice versa with respect to her boundaries with your children, if you have children of your own).
Remember – if her children do not like you, your relationship with the single mother will probably not last. Assuming you want a long-term relationship with the mother, be the good guy to her kids. Let her make the decisions, and let her decide on the discipline factors – and don’t ever disagree with her (especially not in front of the kids). If you do disagree with something she does or says to her children, think very carefully how important it is to you before you decide to discuss it with her … and also carefully consider HOW you discuss it with her from a political standpoint. So much of the politics of communicating with women resides in HOW you present ideas to her … how it makes her feel when listening to you. Keep that in mind not just for discussions concerning her children, but in all discussions.
Next >>> 6th Key Principle of Behavior when Dating a Woman with Children: Do not badmouth the father of the children, no matter what.
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