One Woman's Feedback
on our Woman of the Month for May 2007
Overall we have had some fairly positive feedback from several female site visitors. One negative comment I received had to do with our Woman of the Month section – concerning our first such Woman of the Month, Julie Banderas. [You can see what we wrote about Julie in the Woman of the Month archives – here is the link]. This is what the nice woman said to us about our MidlifeBachelor.com comments on Julie:
“… I DID think, however that the Woman Of The Month (the Latina Fox reporter) was rude and had a prejudice edge to it. Stereotyping/profiling...BIG TIME...makes you guys look like ill-informed gold diggers...people are often WAY more than their appearance...in many ways...both good and bad.”
Here is MidlifeBachelor.com’s carefully considered response: We were not trying to be rude – we were trying to make educated conclusions based on what we observe about Julie. We know she is a high income earner … which means we know she is a JACKPOT type of woman. That is not bad – that is actually a compliment. We also said that she appears assertive – again, a compliment … and that (being assertive) we think it is likely that she is type of woman known as THE BOSS. We happen to like bossy women – so again, this is a compliment. We also guess that she is of type HIGH MAINTENANCE because she is a high income earner. Again – being high maintenance is not a bad thing. Most of the women I’ve dated have been extremely high maintenance, and I’ve loved every second of them. Now we were being a bit stereotypical about Latina women when we guessed that she was JEALOUS or a SHOWGIRL … but take it from me, I’ve dated a ton of Latinas, and most had these tendencies. This is not meant as a slam on Latinas – we love Latinas … in fact, we love everything about Latinas!
Remember – the Woman of the Month is meant to put the honored woman on a pedestal. We sometimes include comments about her, and point to other sections of the MidlifeBachelor.com website so that people may learn things by visiting other sections of the site. We don’t mean to offend – we mean to entertain. And the entire site is written with midlife men as the target visitor – so please take that to heart.
Reasons Why a Woman Stops Communicating with You
Concerning the Midlife Article entitled She Suddenly Stopped Communicating with You, you left out some good reasons that women stop calling or wanting to date a man:
1) You are terrible in bed
2) You are selfish in bed
3) You are not equipped to satisfy her
The truth is some women, like men, like a partner that is well-endowed. Perfectly sweet women have told me they didn’t give a guy a return engagement due to this one short coming. Anonymous 45-year old female from Austin, TX
Midlife Bachelor Response: Excellent feedback, ma'am. I just now added your comments to the end of the article ... and added some of my own elaboration to it. Thanks!
Online Dating Not Bad - Just be Careful
Concerning the Midlife Article, Five Types of People who Date Online - From a Woman's Perspective, I have made so many incredible friends from my online dating experiences! I suspect your friend, Barbara, may not have gone at it from the right angle. Being a relatively attractive female I didn’t want men to talk to me simply because I was good looking. We all know looks don’t last forever. I always “sandbagged” on my picture. In other words, I put up a picture that looked nice enough. Using photos over a few years old or glamour shots is misleading and will destroy any potential trust. This really helped in not attracting several classes mentioned in the article. If they earned a meeting, they would be pleasantly surprised.
Twenty-five percent of the men online that are claiming to be single are not in my experience. Another quarter have too much baggage for my taste. I learned that about 2 years after a divorce - when most people were past the crazies that follow the end of a relationship. That leaves 50% of the prospects that get past a few chats. The chats revealed intelligence and sense of humor. I never met anyone live that I could not find in an online search. Checking county records told me if they gave me their real name. Is there a second name on the deed? I always met for coffee first and usually parked around the corner from the coffee shop so they didn’t have my license plate number. Being cautious is smart. Like the old saying goes “Trust your neighbor, but brand your cattle.”
True chemistry is elusive, as it should be. The reward is there if you stay the course and play smart/fair/safe. My brother, my ex husband, co-workers and my ex boyfriend have all married women they met online. Anonymous 45-year old female from Austin, TX
Midlife Bachelor Response: Very nicely put and encouraging - thank you! I especially like the (obviously Texan) saying you mentioned, "Trust your neighbor, but brand your cattle." The only thing close to that which we have in Southern California might be "Nothing demonstrates commitment more than a restraining order." ;o)
If you have feedback for us, we would love to hear it. Please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks!