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Nymphomania - Not Always a Good Thing

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  • Nymphomania - Not Always a Good Thing

    To many midlife bachelors, finding a nymphomaniac girlfriend can be a wonderful, fantastic experience ... especially after coming out of a long, boring relationship or marriage. I discuss the glorification aspect of having a nymphomaniac girlfriend here:

    Types of Women - Nymphomaniac

    Yet today I received some input from someone who pointed out that a true nymphomaniac (in the clinical sense) is not something to be coveted - no. Here is what she had to say:


    "I don't know where you get your information from, but you might want to check your sources thoroughly. A nymphomaniac is nothing like what you explained. I have a very close friend who is a nymphomaniac and if you truly knew anyone with this condition you wouldn't have talked about it as if it is a gift of life because it isn't. A nymphomaniac is a women that has an abnormal sex drive and that can't function normally.. normally in the sense that sex gets in the way of daily activities such as chores, work, ect. and is never satisfied. Sometimes if the condition is bad enough medication and surgery have to be issued in order to control the urges. My friend is suffering from this condition and has to be heavily sedated in a psychiatric hospital. Otherwise she will have sex with anyone, anywhere, anyway and sometimes with up to more than two partners. I suggest you remove the information you provided on your website and do your research. Thank you for your time. Here is something to read for a start:
    1. Compulsivity: This is the loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or continue a behavior.[15]
    2. Continuation despite consequences: When addicts take their addiction too far, it can cause negative effects in their lives. They may start withdrawing from family life to pursue sexual activity. This withdrawal may cause them to neglect their children or cause their partners to leave them. Addicts risk money, marriage, family and career in order to satisfy their sexual desires.[16] Despite all of these consequences, they continue indulging in excessive sexual activity.
    3. Obsession: This is when people cannot help themselves from thinking a particular thought. Sex addicts spend whole days consumed by sexual thoughts. They develop elaborate fantasies, find new ways of obtaining sex and mentally revisit past experiences. Because their minds are so preoccupied by these thoughts, other areas of their lives that they could be thinking about are neglected."
    and I responded to her with,

    "... I think there are different degrees of nymphomania ... and your friend sounds like she has an very extreme form of it ... a form that takes it well past being any fun ..."

    and her response back was,

    "I agree that there are different degrees to the condition but whether the condition is moderate or excessive it is still a condition and shouldn't be treated or talked about as a "gift". No matter what kind of degree it is and this is my honest opinion, it has it's negative effects on the lives of whoever comes across it. I don't mind my input being posted on your site, if it will help others to see things from a different perspective then I'm all for it."

    And so I post this exchange here ... for the benefit of all.

    Any comments???

  • #2
    Only a man will see it as a gift, Greg

    Too much of a good thing is never good. I bet the emotional craving is as debilitating as the physical desire. Anyone who has been in a new relationship, or who has had long distance relationship knows how passionate that hunger can be, so much so (and let me be frank here), that private parts become all tender and sore

    Last edited by Luce; 02-28-2009, 06:09 AM.

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    • #3
      Reading these posts makes me feel very disconnected from men. To call a woman a 'nympho' is so degrading. If this woman had psychological and emotional issues that caused her to act out this way, she deserves your compassion not your lust or your ego. What I read is that this is all about you and your needs, and nothing about what it must be like for her. Maybe if you weren't so driven by what's in it for you, you would not have ended up in the wrong relationship.

      Sorry to sound so harsh, but this is the reality for so many women which is why many of us keep a distance when we get older. It's often all about you- and less about the other.

      Comment


      • #4
        Nympho

        I am a young Australian woman who at 27years of age has clinically been diagnosed as a nymphomaniac.

        Part of me wants to scream it from the roof tops. Hello world, my name is Naomi and I am a nympho. While another part of me wants to crawl into a dark little hole and disappear.

        While I do not fall into the category of highly risky behaviours such as approaching randoms in the street and doing them in dark alleys, I have a much higher than normal sex drive. So high in fact that I spend a great part of my waking life focussed on sex. I have lost count of the partners that I have had since the age of 15... Yes this started when I was 15.. At the same time that I went through puberty and started mass producing hormones, I started craving sexual gratification and it has been my downfall for the past 12 years.

        The problem with being a nympho is that I have a great deal of trouble holding down relationships. I have one failed marriage behind me which was followed by 3 years of rampant one night stands, short term relationships and affairs. Flatmates, Friends, Strangers, they were all fair game.

        Then 3 years ago I met someone in a *****ers club and thought that I had finally found someone with a sex drive to match my own.... Only to find after three years and the introduction of a child that he is satisfied with sex once a week and I want it three or four times a day.

        We bicker about small things and it feels like my condition is sabotaging our relationship because I am not sexually satisfied, and I wonder if I ever will be.

        Being this way does not make me happy. It is a very lonely life when the only way you feel satisfied is when you are getting all you can from someone and either have them running away from the pressure as the midlifebachelor has explained in his post, or alternately having to leave the situation yourself because you are finding yourself feeling unsatisfied when things go off the boil.

        If I could find someone who could keep up with me, laugh with me, enjoy life with me and manage to keep the spice and desire at a constant I would be amazed, delighted even...alas I feel like that may never happen.

        Instead I live life in a daze, trying to subdue my urges to jump on the closest man...

        Woe is me.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by JD2009 View Post
          I am a young Australian woman who at 27years of age has clinically been diagnosed as a nymphomaniac.

          Part of me wants to scream it from the roof tops. Hello world, my name is Naomi and I am a nympho. While another part of me wants to crawl into a dark little hole and disappear.

          While I do not fall into the category of highly risky behaviours such as approaching randoms in the street and doing them in dark alleys, I have a much higher than normal sex drive. So high in fact that I spend a great part of my waking life focussed on sex. I have lost count of the partners that I have had since the age of 15... Yes this started when I was 15.. At the same time that I went through puberty and started mass producing hormones, I started craving sexual gratification and it has been my downfall for the past 12 years.

          The problem with being a nympho is that I have a great deal of trouble holding down relationships. I have one failed marriage behind me which was followed by 3 years of rampant one night stands, short term relationships and affairs. Flatmates, Friends, Strangers, they were all fair game.

          Then 3 years ago I met someone in a *****ers club and thought that I had finally found someone with a sex drive to match my own.... Only to find after three years and the introduction of a child that he is satisfied with sex once a week and I want it three or four times a day.

          We bicker about small things and it feels like my condition is sabotaging our relationship because I am not sexually satisfied, and I wonder if I ever will be.

          Being this way does not make me happy. It is a very lonely life when the only way you feel satisfied is when you are getting all you can from someone and either have them running away from the pressure as the midlifebachelor has explained in his post, or alternately having to leave the situation yourself because you are finding yourself feeling unsatisfied when things go off the boil.

          If I could find someone who could keep up with me, laugh with me, enjoy life with me and manage to keep the spice and desire at a constant I would be amazed, delighted even...alas I feel like that may never happen.

          Instead I live life in a daze, trying to subdue my urges to jump on the closest man...

          Woe is me.
          Don't all relationships slow down over time? Have you thought about maybe trying a vibrator, or a dildo or taking care of things yourself by masturbating? I mean you have a child to think about now so it seems like that could change ones priorities. What about meds, can the doctor give you anything to dull the desires like maybe an antidepressant or something?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by JD2009 View Post
            Instead I live life in a daze, trying to subdue my urges to jump on the closest man...

            Woe is me.
            No, woe doesn't have to be you. It's a choice. See a doctor, have your hormone levels checked and as Steve said, get a vibrator.

            You cannot expect someone else to fulfill all your needs, you have to take responsibility.
            Last edited by Luce; 05-18-2009, 10:24 AM.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by JD2009 View Post
              ... Instead I live life in a daze, trying to subdue my urges to jump on the closest man...

              Woe is me.
              Hi Naomi - wow ... it is rare that we run across someone with the condition you describe ... and I apologize for making light of it elsewhere - I certainly do not mean to marginalize your condition, nor make fun of it.

              I agree with Steve and Luce - you have a family now, and it seems like the best thing to do would be to try to focus on them ... try to put their best interests first. I'm no psychiatrist, but it sounds to me like you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder ... and I know those are definitely treatable ... either through medication or counseling or both. Please let us know how you approach resolving this - as I think it would be a great lesson for others here ... who maybe don't have the exact issue that you do, but perhaps they do have something overwhelming within them that interferes with their lives.

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              • #8
                Hi there , how are you today , it looks like it took me some years to find you haha

                it is a boy and a girl , do not mind the original name of the smily.


                Hi Michel Dillions is my name ,and i am wondering , ? Am i a Nymphomaniac too when i like it at least 3 times a day ??!!

                hahahaha , Heee , I just Give a littel something away now ,5 times wil do also , but you were not asking me about

                Houers at a day hahahaha , mmm lets keep that a recret for a while .


                I am amazed by your story , i am all Quiet about it ,because I did not met a girl yet , who can keep up with me.


                You Wrote -->
                If I could find someone who could keep up with me, laugh with me, enjoy life with me and manage to keep the spice and desire at a constant I would be amazed, delighted even...alas I feel like that may never happen.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Michel Dillions View Post
                  it is a boy and a girl , do not mind the original name of the smily.


                  Hi Michel Dillions is my name ,and i am wondering , ? Am i a Nymphomaniac too when i like it at least 3 times a day ??!!

                  hahahaha , Heee , I just Give a littel something away now ,5 times wil do also , but you were not asking me about

                  Houers at a day hahahaha , mmm lets keep that a recret for a while .


                  I am amazed by your story , i am all Quiet about it ,because I did not met a girl yet , who can keep up with me.


                  You Wrote -->
                  If I could find someone who could keep up with me, laugh with me, enjoy life with me and manage to keep the spice and desire at a constant I would be amazed, delighted even...alas I feel like that may never happen.
                  FYI - the above post walks the line on what I consider to be even remotely constructive or relevant. This is a serious forum - and another such post will result in a permanent banning of the author. Sorry!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I quote Gregory here that "To many midlife bachelors, finding a nymphomaniac girlfriend can be a wonderful, fantastic experience ... especially after coming out of a long, boring relationship or marriage. I discuss the glorification aspect of having a nymphomaniac girlfriend here".....

                    I know some of the women who have posted earlier feel that men use and perhaps even abuse women for their own selfish ends....Well I have my own personal experiences with a woman which simply reinforce what Gregory had to say....I met this extremely beautiful woman online...she was simply mindblowing that I felt that for once in my life I had met my soulmate...Both of us were married - and were online just for a little fun because our respective marriages appeared to have lost that spark - so to speak....She overwhelmed me with just about every characteristic that I would look for in my ideal woman - beautiful, smart, efficient time manager, she said she managed her family well as well - and had such awesome talent that it actually blew my mind.....I have never been in a relationship of this sort earlier and within a few months we were ready to meet....I was not looking for sex from her but it turned out to be simply the best sex that I have ever had in my 45 years of existence and I was simply amazed...What was evident though was that she had been around...Now that was simply a hunch that I had on the day we first met at a self service apartment close to the place she works....She simply was too good at what she did whether she practiced her kegel exercises effectively or had other training I really would not know.....But to someone who prided himself on his physical prowess and who exercised religiously she left me stunned and perhaps made me feel that for once I could not "rise to the occassion"....LOL...She was also so much fun to be with for her knowledge on affairs worldly and a host of other qualities simply made me place her on a pedestal.....and in fact I got so attached to her that I used to call her the MOM of OUR FIVE KIDS - her two sons to my three....

                    But at the bottom of all this wanton and amazing sex that I got out of our clandestine meetings - whenever we met - was the fear that I was becoming addicted to her - and soon I got my answer as she suddenly went cold on me after two years of immense mutual happiness and unalloyed love that I showered on her....It left me numb with hurt - something that I caused on myself obviously.....

                    All I can add to this forum is this - I feel such women are extremely intelligent and sharp. Men are addicted to them and they are able to lead such perfect lives of duplicity since their exceptional brains help them to weave stories of imagination that could actually make Steven Spielbergh seek her advice on issues of filmaking....LOL Yes the positive side is the mind blowing sex that a man gets from her that makes him long for even more...but a smart man should be able to look beyond just her sexual prowess and be prepared to accept when she moves on, which is pretty quickly for she gets bored pretty soon, unless you are extremely smart in understanding her sexual needs and are adept at surprising her with toys and sexual stuff that keeps her fancy going for you.
                    Last edited by blacknightm44; 06-26-2011, 03:54 AM. Reason: spelling mistakes

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                    • #11
                      WOW!! She sounds amazing. 2 years was a good run for a relationship like that....Would you of left your wife for her if she would of asked?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I’ve never been clinically tested but I know that my sex drive is something that causes me more stress than the stress that fires up my sex drive. I’ve broken it down to needing energy release when energy starts building; fiery tempers, heated debates, arguments, all fuel the need for release we don’t always get. I think this is the key point to nymphomania because of hyper-sexuality and a need for the pulses to be something productive we can feed on. So close to a revolution, so close to the brink of destruction of a corrupt system that isn’t allowing for personal freedom of those us who don’t just want it—demand it—but need it on a level we find all consuming. I am so bold to think that much of the reason there is a rise in nymphomaniacs, manics, depressives, psycho/sociopaths is because of the increased level of stimuli and pressure many of us weren’t prepared to cope with properly.

                        We breed contempt when those who are sensitive to the constant pouring of stimuli give us the grotesque ability to feed into the awareness of the system that creates beautiful people who can never get enough. Feed us the best, for we may be able to do wonderful things—though when people keep the power people suppressed by the system that feeds us it’s no wonder people can release their greatest frustrations into anger and violence and risky sex. I just watched Nicolas Cage crash an airplane into a building, jump out with guns blazing before being taken down by his nemesis John Travolta after hails of gunfire only to be knocked completely unconscious by jet engines into a grate of metal. They will both be perfectly fine, though I doubt my friends would ‘suffer’ the same fate.

                        I feel this sense of unrealistic expectations that makes me wonder if that may be where the possibility of nymphomania arises. Personally, when I was informed that guys think of sex constantly—I wondered how sensitive people felt around them. In a room, everyone is thinking of sex—who can feel it? I get completely twitchy when surrounded by others who think of sex, are consumed by sex, or simply need it for the release or connection in a society that doesn’t always have a tremendous amount of affection.
                        Naomi, this may sound strange, but your awareness inspires me because I think one of the problems we have with society is thinking that the end all be all to life is home, husband, children. The cool thing about *****ers is the parties and sexual change ups, which I think are more natural to some people than others—some people just want to meet someone and settle down, and that’s not what everyone is interested in.

                        I’ve been feeling awful lately because I feel like I'm never satisfied and my husband will bicker with me (I often offer nothing pleasant) because never have we been so unsatisfied with our sex life because of circumstances. We’ve been discussing more and more the nature of our relationship as he is the Master and I am his sex slave—though this makes me happy, I'm struggling through some of the finer details. I was molested as a child, recently coming out of the closet with full honesty about the family he was part of and rescued me from. Some of my sexual deviances are a natural part of me, some are not. I’ll always be a sexual deviant, straight arrows are weird—everyone is bent or twisted these days, makes us more interesting!

                        I'm not making light of sexual addictions, I'm trying to work through my own addictions and hearing stories of those who’ve already come to terms with a potential reality is a comfort to me. Naomi, I know it’s hard to feel sex starved because of limitations, circumstances, or otherwise—and that’s why I’ve been working recently (lifting myself from depression from lack of constant positive touch) to satisfy myself in other ways—non sexual ways. I do a lot of writing, joining the whatis-theplan.org Anonymous movement for the betterment of living. I also dance, a lot, and it helps to move energy that get’s pent up when I have no sexual release options—dancing is also fun, great exercise, and would be a wonderful activity with your child and husband.

                        Life is about adapting, not negating our natural desires and needs—though sometimes what we think is a need is nothing more than a void created by an abusive situation we simply fill so we can avoid looking at it. I’ve done both, it’s a fine line.

                        I'm full of love and desire, if that makes me a bad person—I don’t want to be what someone ‘good’ thinks I should be.

                        Much love, much light, Beauflo

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                        • #13
                          Nympho

                          I don't know whether Nympho is actually a "syndrome" or something because I started to love sex when I was 9 years old. It is a living hell for me because I couldn't stop myself from pleasuring myself everyday. To make things worst, I was born as a religious MUSLIM woman and we muslim, must not perform sex until we are married.

                          I respect my religion and I obeyed the order but at the same time, living as a nympho can be hellish. Because I dont want to lose my virginity but at the same time has a high sexual drive, I decided to perform skypesex, sextext, camsex... And for almost 24 years of my life, I never dated a guy (hold hand, kissing, making out) because I feared that I might lose my virginity due to my sexual desire that keeps getting stronger every single day... I am actually an attractive person but I decide to live as a single woman.

                          I met my boyfriend online and we've been in a relationship for 17 months via online... and we will start seeing each other next month for a week. He wanted to do all the couple-ish stuff toward me like kissing and cuddling but I am so so so scared because he knows I love sex and my mind is all about sex but at the same time he knows I dont wanna lose my virginity yet..Being a nympho; especially a muslim, is seriously NOT easy...

                          But I am proud to say I am still "untouchable" after 23+ years

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Kimy Lee View Post
                            I don't know whether Nympho is actually a "syndrome" or something because I started to love sex when I was 9 years old. It is a living hell for me because I couldn't stop myself from pleasuring myself everyday. To make things worst, I was born as a religious MUSLIM woman and we muslim, must not perform sex until we are married.

                            I respect my religion and I obeyed the order but at the same time, living as a nympho can be hellish. Because I dont want to lose my virginity but at the same time has a high sexual drive, I decided to perform skypesex, sextext, camsex... And for almost 24 years of my life, I never dated a guy (hold hand, kissing, making out) because I feared that I might lose my virginity due to my sexual desire that keeps getting stronger every single day... I am actually an attractive person but I decide to live as a single woman.

                            I met my boyfriend online and we've been in a relationship for 17 months via online... and we will start seeing each other next month for a week. He wanted to do all the couple-ish stuff toward me like kissing and cuddling but I am so so so scared because he knows I love sex and my mind is all about sex but at the same time he knows I dont wanna lose my virginity yet..Being a nympho; especially a muslim, is seriously NOT easy...

                            But I am proud to say I am still "untouchable" after 23+ years
                            Kimy -

                            Welcome to the forum. You have some incredible determination. Have you been to a doctor to discuss potential alternatives to ease your suffering until you are married?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi Kimy Lee, It sounds like a normal sex drive to me, Our sexuality is a gift! You seem to have a strong inner conflict between your healthy woman's body and your strong faith. I respect and admire your bravery, your faith, and that you are sharing your story with us- WELCOME!

                              Also your anticipation and nervousness about meeting your boyfriend sound well founded and normal too. I am amazed that you are so articulate about these matters- that will carry you far. Believe in your inner strength, and be authentic, meaning show on the outside what your believe on the inside.

                              Be safe about meeting him, OK? When will you get together with him in person, and what are your plans for that?
                              Last edited by A OK; 01-10-2012, 06:06 AM.

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