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The Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover

     >> Attitude Adjustment / Mental Makeover Rev 2.0

          >> Makeover Messages ...

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1) Recognize the good in everything and everyone (not the bad).   Seeing the world through a positive filter essentially defines you as an optimistic person.     And people, in general, are more typically attracted to other people who are happy and positive (versus dark and negative).  Perhaps this seems like plain old common sense – but I’m constantly surprised about how many others I encounter who only look at the negatives, and never acknowledge the positives of any given thing in life.   Being positive (or being negative) is extremely habit-forming … so it is best to practice as often as possible.   For some, this is easy – but for others, it requires complete concentration.   Perform a little test on yourself – each time you finish up a conversation with someone, write down in a notebook or journal what positive things you said, and what negative things you said – each in a separate column.   At the end of the day, which did you say more of?   Sometimes you cannot get away from saying something negative … like if you witness a car accident, and have to describe it.   So there is obviously some logical balance or equilibrium that needs to be achieved – but my point here is that your number of positive comments should far outweigh your negative comments.

My buddy, Mike, makes a lot of negative comments about immigrants – which we are all tired of hearing about.   He also makes a ton of negative general comments to everyone about women in Southern California – like they are all selfish and inconsiderate.   Mike doesn’t realize that he is not attracting women by evangelizing his anti-woman viewpoints – he just gives them another reason not to talk to him (because he is so negative all the time).  He even touts his anti-woman views to females he knows – did he forget that women talk amongst themselves?  Did he ever think that a woman might have wanted to introduce her to one of her friends … until Mike killed the idea by talking negatively about women to women?   Nope!

One of my salesmen, Zach, is actually a great example of positive person.  In fact, Zach exemplifies all good qualities that a midlife bachelor could have … however, Zach is in his late twenties (so he hasn’t yet had the chance to become jaded like the rest of us midlife bachelors).   Anyway – Zach is a man who never seems to have a bad day.   He always remains calm – even in the most stressing of situations.   He never or hardly ever has anything bad to say about anyone.  And when confronted with a challenge – Zach focuses on the solution – and never complains.   The guy is great to work with.  I always tell Zach that he is a role model for me and the rest of the Southern California sales staff – and it is true.   Not surprisingly, everyone loves Zach – his customers, his coworkers, me.   We could all learn a lesson from this man.    I, myself, am not always a calm individual … sometimes I will bitch and whine about something … but fortunately I try not to do it in public (or I try to minimize public exposure of a temporary bad attitude).   My point here is that it is possible to be happy and positive, and to see the good in everything … it just takes some effort and practice.   Zach is married, by the way.  So I suppose I cannot relate Zach as an example of bachelorhood success … instead, Zach is an example of overall success as an individual.

My point - the more positive things that you notice and the more good things that you say, the more attractive an individual you are to the world.    It all begins with paying close attention to yourself, and especially to what comes out of your mouth.   

Next >>> Makeover Message - Spread Good Karma / Don't Complain ...


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Section Index (auto-expands to right as browser widens >>)
The Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover
   Personal Appearance Rev 2.0 – look the part!
          Personal Hygiene 101
            Hygiene Challenges I've Seen
                Facial hair
                Facial complexion
                Finger nails and toe nails
                Overall cleanliness
                Cologne and deodorant
                Body hair
                Pubic hair
          Dress for Success – Fashion Ensemble 101
                New Clothes – Formal, Casual, or Somewhere in Between?
                Shoes, Socks, and Belt
          Fat and Happy?  What about Weight?
   Attitude Adjustment / Mental Makeover Rev 2.0
         Bad Karma / Good Karma
         Makeover Message – Spread Good Karma
                Recognize the good in everything and everyone
                Not complain but rather find solutions
                Try to smile, and say something positive
                Remain calm in dramatic situations
                Don’t appear cheap
         The Dangers of Insecurity
            Failure to look a woman in the eyes
            Constantly asking a woman out
            Calling too often
            Being too nosey
            Assuming too much about the status of a relationship
         Avoid the Ruts
                The No Date rut 
                The Wrong Girlfriend rut
         Know when to Talk and When to Listen
            Get her talking about what she is interested in
            Don't talk too much about yourself
         Learn from Others and from Yourself