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The Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover

     >> Attitude Adjustment / Mental Makeover Rev 2.0

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5) Don’t appear cheap.   Midlife bachelorhood happens to men from all financial walks of life.   Some of us are wealthy, others are dirt poor – and many are somewhere in between.   Becoming a midlife bachelor itself may involve significantly changing the economics of who you are and how you live your life.   For example, you may have been just fine financially as a married person – but after your divorce, you find that alimony and/or child support has made you extremely cash poor … and that may continue to be true for quite some time.  I’ll address the economics of midlife bachelorhood later – but right now, I want to plant a critical idea into your head.   No matter what your situation, ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST NOT TO APPEAR CHEAP.   Why?  Because women do not like a cheapskate!

Do not misunderstand me – I’m not suggesting that you go out and burn money unnecessarily.  What I am saying is that you make wise choices with how you spend your money, and particularly with how you appear to spend it.   If you are really poor, you can avoid appearing cheap (for example) by making a woman dinner at your house versus taking her out to eat.   Don’t tell her you cannot afford to go out – but rather spin it as you want to cook for her.   [Hint – don’t do this on your first date either … reserve this for later on.]  It all comes back to being a positive person, and not complaining, etc.  Do what you need to do in order to keep your budget under control, but keep it all positive and happy.

My buddy, Mike, is one of the worst cheapskates I know.   [As if he didn’t have enough challenges, right?]  Anyway, Mike is not poor by any means – but he is always focused on making every penny scream when we go out.   For example, if he joins me and a group of my male and female friends when we go out to happy hour once a week or so – Mike is always whining about the price of the drinks.    I can recall many times where Mike would say things like, “Dude – these beers are $4.00 each … we could get a twelve-pack for the price of three beers, and be sitting on my couch.” … which is true, but there wouldn’t be anyone else there!    And when the check comes, instead of everyone pitching in some relatively fair amount – Mike is eyeballing the check, and coughs up exactly what his portion was … without regard to the tip.    “Dude – here’s my seven dollars.  I’m not paying for that girl’s drink – she’s your friend.”   Good grief – it is one thing to think it and do it, but it is another thing to announce it!   Mike ought to wear a shirt that says CHEAPSKATE on the front and back to pre-announce his condition to the waitress, and to others who join us.    Cheap is not sexy – so avoid the appearance of being cheap at all costs!

Next >>> The Dangers of Insecurity


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Section Index (auto-expands to right as browser widens >>)
The Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover
   Personal Appearance Rev 2.0 – look the part!
          Personal Hygiene 101
            Hygiene Challenges I've Seen
                Facial hair
                Facial complexion
                Finger nails and toe nails
                Overall cleanliness
                Cologne and deodorant
                Body hair
                Pubic hair
          Dress for Success – Fashion Ensemble 101
                New Clothes – Formal, Casual, or Somewhere in Between?
                Shoes, Socks, and Belt
          Fat and Happy?  What about Weight?
   Attitude Adjustment / Mental Makeover Rev 2.0
         Bad Karma / Good Karma
         Makeover Message – Spread Good Karma
                Recognize the good in everything and everyone
                Not complain but rather find solutions
                Try to smile, and say something positive
                Remain calm in dramatic situations
                Don’t appear cheap
         The Dangers of Insecurity
            Failure to look a woman in the eyes
            Constantly asking a woman out
            Calling too often
            Being too nosey
            Assuming too much about the status of a relationship
         Avoid the Ruts
                The No Date rut 
                The Wrong Girlfriend rut
         Know when to Talk and When to Listen
            Get her talking about what she is interested in
            Don't talk too much about yourself
         Learn from Others and from Yourself