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People write in to ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR with questions.  An index of all Q&As is located on the ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR page.

NO DATE ON VALENTINE'S DAY?   WHAT TO DO?
No date on Valentine's Day? What to do? What NOT to do? In years past, I have at times found myself in the unenviable position of being without a girlfriend, or even a date on Valentine's Day. I know there are currently a fair number of people in that same boat today, and so I thought I would put together an official midlifebachelor.com suggested list of THINGS YOU CAN DO on Valentine's Day when you don't have a date - along with a second list of WHAT NOT TO DO, too.
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Now if instead you find yourself in the opposite predicament ... where you are dating more than one person when Valentine's Day rolls around, then maybe checkout this post in our Midlife Forum for some ideas:  Need Valentine's Day Advice (Dating 3 Women)
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The 2012 Official / Updated Midlifebachelor.com List of
What TO DO on V- Day When You DO NOT Have a Date ...

>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

MIDLIFE CRISIS CHEATER SEEKS REDEMPTION
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR::  I realize I won't garner any sympathy from you or from your members, but from having read through many parts of your site, I believe I may be in the midst of having a midlife crisis and need some help. I will try, to keep this short as possible and give the abbreviated synopsis of the past six months.

I'm in my late thirties, and have been married for nearly fifteen years. I have a loving wife, three absolutely beautiful children whom I love deeply. My wife and I do not always get along - we fight quite a bit ... and over the years, our relationship has turned more into a friendship/roommate situation. I eventually made a friendship with someone whom I met through a training class, and we hit it off. We are both in our thirties, I'm more towards the older end and she just entered them. We have, had, many, many things in common whereas my wife and I did not - looking back. Our friendship soon turned sexual - romantic and further feelings began to emerge that had not been
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

BIPOLAR WIFE ABANDONS MARRIAGE W/O EXPLANATION
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  I am 47 years old and I'm a very passionate loving and caring person that seems to always get my heart stomped on, lied to, taken advantage of, and/or used. I remarried in July of this year. She is age 40, had my heart and soul, and was the love of my life. We WERE so in love and happy, and planning to grow old together. Or so I thought.

As you can see, I said "WERE" because on December 2nd she told me she was sorry but she was leaving and NO reasons were given. Yes, NO REASONS. She left and we have only spoke once since. No matter how many messages I leave, texts I send - I get NO response, NO answers, NO NOTHING. Other than she doesn't want to be with anyone ... doesn't want anyone, and is sorry, and she shouldn't have married me. I asked her if it isn't sacred enough or doesn't mean enough to save - and she said no. But I was told by her Dad (yes
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

HOW LONG TO WAIT TO HAVE SEX?
The question about how long or how many dates to go out with someone on before fooling around actually came up on our Midlife Forum - the thread entitled "What is Normal?", and because this question is significant with such broad applicability, I thought I'd address it here, too. [You can see my original short answer plus the opinions of a number of Midlife Forum participants by looking at that discussion thread.]

So how long do you wait before fooling around? What is appropriate? If you give it up too quickly, is that a bad sign for the potential relationship? Are you just EASY if you give it up within several dates? Are you FRIGID if you don't give it up within, say, a month or 10 dates, or ??? Does age factor into any of this?
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

I COULD NOT SLEEP WITH THE FAT WOMAN
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  I wrote in to you a month or so ago about me (age 46, divorced for 6 months) maybe dating a large 200 pound woman that I met online who is really pretty but who I wasn't sure I would be attracted to when it came time to fool around. You said to go for it and see what happens because otherwise you never know, and because I said she was a wonderful person. You asked me to report back with my findings.

Well turns out that fooling around with her was sort of like a science experiment that was only partially successful. We fooled around 3 times. First time I became soft after just around 10 minutes of activity. I told her this happened to me twice before in my life (years ago) and that I was not sure what was going on with me. I told her it could be because I hadn't slept with anyone since my wife and I split up - which could very well be true. However, I knew in my own head that she did the opposite of arousing me,
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

BOYFRIEND'S FEMALE FRIENDS MAKING ME CRAZY
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  I'm wondering if I'm "OK", "crazy", "jealous", or "sane". If you could help me out and give me some perspective, I'd really appreciate it. I've been dating my Love for one year now, exclusively. He has three very good female friends:

1) Shana (she is married), is loud and large, and he considers her a "dude" ... someone he likes hanging out with, and they talk a lot on the phone, and have a lot in common. They've been friends for years.

Shana and I do not like each other. My boyfriend blames it on me. He claims I'm jealous. But I claim, Shana NEVER liked me, and she doesn't give me a chance to be her friend. I do not like Shana because I feel she immediately judged me, and decided that I wasn't good for my Love. That sucked for me, and still does. It's always caused a strain in my relationship. Plus, he and Shana talk on the phone and visited quite often each week -
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

I DON'T WANT TO GROW OLD ALONE
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  I'm a confident, good looking 42 year old male. My longest relationship is a year which was in my mid-twenties. I've also dated women for a couple of months with the possibility of a long term relationship, but I've always ended it before it got too serious. I've also had flings and one night stands. I guess you can call me a commitment phobe, but I'm also very fussy. A part of me wants to settle down and marry. Another part of me is just so used to being a "player" and finding it hard to change, because I'm comfortable, and I enjoy dating different women. I'm confused and worried because if I don't commit to someone, I'll be very lonely later on in life. The thought of turning 50 and not being in a long-term relationship or married scares me. How will I be perceived? Will people think I'm weird
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

SHOULD I DATE A FAT WOMAN?
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  I am 46 years old, and have been divorced for barely six months. I'm a fish out of water with respect to dating, but I've been trying the online dating thing lately and had some success - which means that I've been able to secure anywhere from one or two new dates each week from match. But none of them have "stuck" - which means I haven't really liked any of them enough to go out more than twice. My ex-wife and also all of the women I've historically gone out with have been normal-size women - like 120 pounds and under.

So here's the issue. I met a woman recently from match whose pictures of her face were just beautiful. And so is she - such a pretty woman. But she is easily 200 pounds - way larger than anyone I've ever dated in my past. I am attracted to her but if it comes down to it, I just don't know what will happen if our clothes come off. In other words, I am concerned that I may not be attracted to her if I see her unclothed. So I'm not even sure if I want to keep dating her. What are your thoughts? Should I just try it and see? Or is the fact that I'm
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

HOW TO DATE A RICH MAN OR WOMAN?
Ever wondered how you might go about dating a rich man or woman? Have you ever considered what you need to do in order to meet a rich man or woman to date? If dating someone wealthy is your goal, then keep reading for some pointers.

First of all, how do you put yourself out there in order to meet someone wealthy? There are three quick ways to do this:

1) Use a dating website that specifically caters to the >>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

RELATIONSHIPS BASED ONLY ON LUST OFTEN FAIL
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: When I read the section of midlifebachelor.com entitled, Great Sex Hides the Truth, I realized that I was not imagining things. I would further add that great sex also causes denial.  It allows us to ignore a train wreck in progress. I already know the answer to my current problem, which is to cut my losses and run. But I don't want to because the sex is unbelievable. So that puts me in denial thinking that some how or way things will get better.

I have experienced much in my 40 something years, which included everything from, sex once every four months to sex four times a day. I have dated very normal woman, as well as nymphos and psychos. I was even married to a bipolar woman once, too. What a freaking nightmare! Ever since, I have heightened my situational awareness to women and their ways.

I will share with you what makes my sex so great and the hidden truth. I have known her for over 20 years. She was married to a good friend of mine who died suddenly from natural causes. Maybe she sexed him to death.
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

HOW TO DEAL WITH A MIDLIFE CRISIS AFFAIR & DIVORCE
You've been married for many years - and one day, your husband (or wife) comes home and tells you that he doesn't love you anymore ... that he is seeing someone else ... and that he is moving out. What about you? What about the children ... the house ... the insurance ... the cars?  What about all the things that you've worked for together all these years? What do you do?

Here at midlifebachelor.com, I get an email every other week or so from someone in this exact situation ... being on the opposing side of a spouse who is likely going through a midlife crisis. The majority of these emails are from women in their forties and fifties ... but sometimes I get one from a husband whose wife is leaving him. They all want to know what to do ... and so since my advice in cases like this is pretty similar across-the-board, I thought it would be a good idea to create an article dedicated to this topic. First, there are some things you should recognize ...

>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here

ONLINE DATES WANT TO JUMP INTO BED?
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  I live in Michigan and one of the options I have as a single woman to meet available men is through one of the popular online dating websites. It's also the most affordable for a single mom like me on limited income. It seems however that this website, which has matched into marriage a few of my friends, seems to have become a pick up spot now. A lot of the guys I am meeting, after the first date seem to just want to move into a sexual relationship and completely bypass "getting to know you". I'm in my early 40s, and I do understand most men in their early 40's tend to go through some type of midlife crisis, but come on. Do any decent women really want to be talked to or thought of as a piece of meat?

This last gentleman I met for a coffee date seemed very nice, charming and definitely had manners. The first meeting went well ... lots of communication, eye contact, laughter, etc. It was the emails that followed the next day that were completely disappointing. I wrote a simple little note stating "I had a really nice time meeting you for coffee.
>>> MORE - read the entire discussion here
Date escape

NEW MIDLIFE BOYFRIEND IS FLACID
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:  Not sure the best way to say this so I'll just say it - my 48-year old boyfriend of three months has trouble becoming hard around me lately. I'm 42, and am in the middle of a divorce. I was married for 14 years, and have only been single for the past six months ... dating this new guy for the past three months or so. We live in different states and we've seen each other five times - about every other weekend. The first several weekends were great - he had no problem. But now I notice that he doesn't seem as interested in me. And the last two weekends I've spent at his house, he was pretty soft (I mean that in a literal sense). I didn't really question him about it - I thought maybe it was me, or maybe he's just losing interest. I had dinner with a different guy this past week, and after dinner turned into a total makeout session, although I didn't sleep with him. I guess I just wanted to know that someone wants me. Concerning my boyfriend, do you think he is just losing interest, or is this common in late 40s men? I have not dated since my late 20s, and I guess I'm looking for some guidance. What should I do, and what should I expect?

MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER: First of all - thanks for emailing in your photo. You are definitely a very good-looking woman, and you can be sure that all midlife bachelors would think you are hot. So try not to take what is going on with your
>>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here


Below are the Most Recent Midlife Articles.   Visit the Short Midlife Articles page to see a listing of all articles.

How to Date a Rich Man or Rich Woman?
Here is exactly what you need to do if you really want to meet and then date a rich man or a rich woman ...
How to Deal with a Midlife Crisis Affair and Divorce
You have been married for many years, and one day he comes home and tells you he is leaving you for someone else. Here is exactly what you need to do ...
Top 10 Reasons to Dump Someone
Here is a great list of the Top 10 Reasons to Dump your girlfriend or boyfriend ASAP ...
Types of Men
Just for the ladies - here is a good list of a number of different TYPES OF MEN out there in the dating world ...
How to Write an Online Dating Profile    
Here is how to write a great online dating profile that will deliver excellent results. Using ANY of these suggestions will make you many times more attractive than your competition ...
Do I Have Erectile Dysfunction?    
This is a very sensitive topic - one that you cannot discuss with your friends. Read this to know if you really might have a problem, and what you can do about it ...
Dealing with Jealousy in a Relationship 
Dealing with jealousy can be incredibly challenging. Here are some early signs of jealousy, along with how you can address and possibly correct this type of behavior in someone you are dating ...
Dating a Widow
Dating a widow or widower is not necessarily just for people older than 60. Women in their 30s and 40s become widows every day. Here is a good list of guidelines or things to think about if you are considering dating a widow ...
Is It Safe to Buy Viagra Online? Do's and Don'ts ... 
You can actually buy Viagra online without getting spammed to death - just be careful. Here are some tips.
Suicide is NOT a Solution for Relationship Problems
No matter what kind of relationship and/or financial issues you have - suicide is absolutely NOT a solution to be considered. It is not fair to yourself, and definitely not fair to those who love you ...
Which Photos to Pick for Your Online Dating Profile
You've GOT TO KNOW which photos to use, and which photos NOT to use for your online dating profile. Here is the advice men and women need ...
Best Reasons to Be in a Relationship
There are definitely advantages to being in a relationship with someone you love. Here are some of the best reasons to be in a relationship ...

Advantages of Cheating on your Spouse or Girlfriend?  Controversial
Are there actually advantages to cheating on your spouse or girlfriend / boyfriend?  Are there benefits to be realized … or gains to be had as a result of cheating?  The answer depends on who you are ...

Best Reasons to Be Single  
You can be single, and be perfectly happy - the grass is not always greener. Consider these reasons for being single, and remember that being single does not mean being alone ...
Know When She Wants Sex for the First Time
Recognize the signals your new woman is sending out, and know when she is trying to tell you that she wants to have sex with you for the very first time ...
What Makes a Woman Turn PSYCHO?
Some women (and men) are PSYCHO BY DEFAULT, while others are SITUATIONALLY PSYCHO. When you are dating a PSYCHO, you have to determine if it is really worth the effort ...

More Articles:  Short Midlife Articles page
Below are some of our more popular Midlife Articles.   Visit the Short Midlife Articles page to see a listing of all articles.

Advantages of Cheating on your Spouse or Girlfriend? Controversial
Are there actually advantages to cheating on your spouse or girlfriend / boyfriend?  Are there benefits to be realized … or gains to be had as a result of cheating?  The answer depends on who you are ...
How to Date a Rich Man or Rich Woman?
Here is exactly what you need to do if you really want to meet and then date a rich man or a rich woman ...
How to Write an Online Dating Profile
Here is how to write a great online dating profile that will deliver excellent results. Using ANY of these suggestions will make you many times more attractive than your competition ...
5 Signs Your Husband May Be Realizing He's Gay
Marriages dissolve for different reasons - sometimes it's because one partner's sexual orientation changes, or becomes clear for the first time. Here is what one woman went through, and what to watch for if you suspect ...
When to Send a Woman Flowers ♥♥♥
Knowing when to send a woman flowers is just as important as knowing when NOT to send them.  Here are some good bachelor guidelines for when to / when NOT to send flowers, how many to send, what kind, etc.  There is also some direct input from several of my female friends ...
Which Photos to Pick for your Online Dating Profile?
You've GOT TO KNOW which photos to use, and which photos NOT to use for your online dating profile. Here is the advice men and women need ...
Going Green - Do One Green Thing Today
If everyone did just ONE GREEN THING each day, think about how much better off we would all be ...
7 Signs You Are Dating a Party Girl
Party girls are so much fun to date. Here are seven signs that your woman is a party girl ...
Are Midlife Men Attractive to Women in their 20s?
Some women in their twenties are very attracted to midlife men because we offer things like stability, security, confidence, attentiveness, appreciation … knowing how to make a woman feel beautiful ...
Ever Been Someone's WORST DATE EVER?
Being someones WORST DATE EVER is usually an accidental form of art.   Here is the story of one such masterpiece ...
The "One Night Stand" at Midlife
Is the “one night stand” at midlife the same thing it was when we were in our twenties?   I believe the definition of the term “one night stand” changes with age – or at least it has for me ...  
Removing a Parent from Life Support
If you are curious about the types of things one goes through when removing a loved one from life support, then check this out.  Definitely not for the faint of heart.

More Articles:  Short Midlife Articles page

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