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WTH does this mean when my ex says this? need the women to chime in here please!!!

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  • WTH does this mean when my ex says this? need the women to chime in here please!!!

    okay, my ex and I talk for the most part and we seem to be getting along a lot better. We never had a fight in the 16 years married and haven't really had a fight since either. However, she said something recently that made me say WTF!?!


    She said that when she is around me, she gets really nervous and doesn't know why. She says she feels like she cannot lie to me and ends up telling me the truth if I ask her. She isn't worried about any physical harm to her as she knows I would never raise a hand to her at all. She also said I am the only man that she has ever been like that with. She normally holds everything close to her chest and doesn't like anyone to know her business. She has always been in control of the guys in any relationship except me. I guess that is why she asked me to marry her LOL

    Why on earth would she get nervous around me?
    Come on in.....the water's fine

  • #2
    Any idea if she either just got out of a relationship or has not been in one for a long time?

    Comment


    • #3
      Hmmmm - sounds like a little girl with her daddy

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by EverythingZen View Post
        Any idea if she either just got out of a relationship or has not been in one for a long time?
        Nope, no relationship since the divorce, she has gone out on dates but notihng serious. Says she doesn't want any relationships either but I really do not care at this point.

        Vienna, not this one. She is a strong willed redheaded German woman that is very independant.
        Come on in.....the water's fine

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Vienna View Post
          Hmmmm - sounds like a little girl with her daddy
          I was thinking the same thing.

          I would suspect that there is some quality to you that makes her think, "Father Figure".

          Comment


          • #6
            YES I get this Mike, but no one should dismiss or invalidate it as 'little girl with daddy' just because it is out of their experience. I am going to have to think about how to explain it. I'm guessing it took her a while to even say that to you.

            Why did you two break up anyhow if you don't mind me asking?

            In the meantime, can ya please change your avatar so I can log on here during work breaks- it's a bit -um- GRAPHIC! ;-)

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            • #7
              I think she still has the hots for you. :-)

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Cyn View Post
                I think she still has the hots for you. :-)
                I agree with Cyn. Unresolved feelings for you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by A OK View Post
                  YES I get this Mike, but no one should dismiss or invalidate it as 'little girl with daddy' just because it is out of their experience. I am going to have to think about how to explain it. I'm guessing it took her a while to even say that to you.

                  Why did you two break up anyhow if you don't mind me asking?

                  In the meantime, can ya please change your avatar so I can log on here during work breaks- it's a bit -um- GRAPHIC! ;-)
                  Well, we broke up because she went into a mid life crisis due to her mom being diagnosed with cancer, plus her cancer too has come back and spreading. One day out of the blue after 16 years of marriage she said she was done being a wife and mother. So she wanted a divorce and said there was nothing that can be done to change her mind. Said that if I gave her an uncontested divorce, that I could have everything including full custody of our son.

                  I am only 3 months older then her to the day.


                  BTW, A OK, my avatar is a pic of a floor lamp, seriously, go and look at it again......where is your mind at???? LOL
                  Come on in.....the water's fine

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Did I read that correctly, your ex wife has cancer?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Cyn View Post
                      I think she still has the hots for you. :-)
                      Yep that's why I was wondering about her relationship status. She doesn't have anyone in her life currently and looking back the good stands out more than the bad.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by AeroMike View Post
                        Well, we broke up because she went into a mid life crisis due to her mom being diagnosed with cancer, plus her cancer too has come back and spreading. One day out of the blue after 16 years of marriage she said she was done being a wife and mother. So she wanted a divorce and said there was nothing that can be done to change her mind. Said that if I gave her an uncontested divorce, that I could have everything including full custody of our son.

                        I am only 3 months older then her to the day.


                        BTW, A OK, my avatar is a pic of a floor lamp, seriously, go and look at it again......where is your mind at???? LOL
                        Mike, Who labelled it midlife crisis? I never buy that excuse. My guess is that she didn't feel supported, or there would be no need to split and it goes along with you primary question in this thread. Maybe she could have put some energy into trying to get it across to you, or did she. Nothing personal- behaivor not the person but you did ask. I don't get the impression that you listen very well from the way you fire off posts here- off on a tangent enjoying a joke with yourself. Example is your lamp photo. Sure make a joke about it but not acknowledge my sincere request. Shrug.

                        You don't seem like you have much to hide, maybe that's why she will open up to you. I've known overbearing guys who say they're an open book when subtlety would offer a more receptive front. I think her message is that she can't be herself around you.

                        Nothin personal but you asked and glad I'M perfect ;-)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by AeroMike View Post

                          She said that when she is around me, she gets really nervous and doesn't know why. She says she feels like she cannot lie to me and ends up telling me the truth if I ask her. She isn't worried about any physical harm to her as she knows I would never raise a hand to her at all. She also said I am the only man that she has ever been like that with. She normally holds everything close to her chest and doesn't like anyone to know her business. She has always been in control of the guys in any relationship except me. I guess that is why she asked me to marry her LOL
                          Mike, there is probably a lot that is not written that would make it clearer to an outside person, but here is my take on it..ready??...She might be a little scared of you..when she is around, are you in a pissed off mood, or have an angry expression, or an expression that would appear like you're going to lose it, even though you're not..I don't know how you deal with stress, but if seeing her makes it stressful for you and you can't hide your feels, it may be showing up in your facial expressions, and she's a little scared of what you might do...only reason I bring this up is because you mentioned about physical harm and raising a hand...just another perspective on this, take it for what's it worth.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Cyn View Post
                            I think she still has the hots for you. :-)
                            I'll offer up a completely different spin - but, Mike, it'll just be speculation as I - like everyone else here - have not met your ex. As you spent such a significant amount of time with her, I'd imagine you should be the best one qualified to try and read into her behavior. Here it goes, anyhow:

                            I feel really nervous around my ex. It is not because I have daddy issues or that I'm even remotely attracted to him any longer. I even get so internally upset in his very presence that I declined attending our divorce proceedings. The why is because being near him brings forth all of the disgust I feel towards him - haven't reached that space of apathy yet. I've never before been as challenged by such negative feelings towards another person & it throws me when they get conjured as I don't settle quite comfortably with feelings like that - where the very sight of a person makes you feel so ill you become unsteady/nervous.

                            So, I wouldn't feel quite convinced that she may still be "hot" for you - she may be like me & unable to process disgust. Just sayin'...whether that is a possibly or not, only you would really know.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Vienna View Post
                              Did I read that correctly, your ex wife has cancer?
                              Yes. SHe was diagnosed with it about 6 years ago. HAd it removed and survived it but, we (her family and I) recently found out that back when she walked away from me, our son and her family is when she found out her cancer has spread and right now she is going through radiation.

                              She said that she is running from everyone so that it will be less painful for us when she passes but I do not buy that. It is perplexing to see her treat our son like this whne she was so protective over him growing up. That is what I cannot understand.

                              For everyone else, we were together 18 years (married 16) and we never had a fight. Even now we still have not had a fight. She nows I would never hurt her, I have never raised my voice to her. But in honestity there were times I would not talk to her. One thing she would do is call me when she is driving and I didn't like talking to her while she was driving because I seen how distracted she gets.


                              A OK, I removed my avatar so now you can access these treads without fear of seeing it.
                              Come on in.....the water's fine

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