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  • GF moved out secretly wiwarning

    SO me and my GF were living together, things seemed great. Thursday night we went out and she was telling me how great she felt about us, she loved me, etc... Next morning she tells me she loves me hugs kisses and all of that. I come home from work and she is gone. Everything was gone. Just a not saying she needed to go live 60 miles away with her sister's family and work on being a better mom and herself, but she still wants to date me. WTF!!??

    She claims it was not planned and it was sudden after hearing her son got hurt in school.

    Now I felt like this was planned. She has extreme ADD, she can not do anything without making a mess or forgetting half of it. With this move out, she did it fast and did not miss a thing, cleaned up and re-organized everything. She even did all the laundry and put it all away nicely. She never did anything so well.

    Thoughts? I think the dating still thing is BS. SHe left, did not talk to me, if it was planned she lied to me, if it wasnt this is a severe mental issue then.

    What do you think?

  • #2
    My take is that she did you a big favor! You told us about her in a previous thread here called, do I take her back, she lied, stole and could be an addict and my conclusion at the time was that she must be hot and/or great in bed for you to put with all of that.

    Now things are different. What you have on your hands right now is an OPPORTUNITY to go and find a new fresh pair of panties to pull DOWN DOWN DOWN TO THE GROUND for the very first time ... YES!!!! There is absolutely nothing as good as the first time you are with someone new ... and now you have that chance!!!

    You are a wild animal that is now out of his cage. Go and be that mad dog, brother!!!!

    Try either match or use the site I advocate in this article How to Meet a Wealthy Man or Woman on the top site here.

    Just look forward, and not back!!! Don't go back to her!!! Time for something fresh and new ... go get 'em ... grrrrrr!!! ha ha

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    • #3
      Yes sex was good. Things were getting better. Though there were some signs that she is below my league. I am glad she left, yes she did me a favor, but damn it was a shock and I am trying to wrap my head around the sanity of it.

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      • #4
        Oh, LocalVet......you just got branch swung on and......lied to, big time. My guess is that she hooked up with an old, or a new flame, a while ago, who made her tingle and started planning her exit then. Women don't jump until they have a plan "B" in place unless there's some scary stuff like domestic violence happening. More than likely she had a secret life happening and the reason she wants to still "date" you, is because she's still unsure about the new guy. You've become her plan "B" now. Her interest waned significantly when she got what she wanted from you.....a provider.....and probably started looking for that oxytocin/endorphin rush again as soon as she locked you down. It's all about the "feels" and she wasn't "feelin" it for a while.

        This was a planned departure. You were lied to. Not only that, unless you understand how this works, it will happen again.

        All of the time, treasure, honor, and commitment you invested means nothing to her. It's all about how you make her "feel" and how you keep making her "feel" and unfortunately, being a good guy and a provider just don't make them tingle.

        Understand that I'm not saying be an asshole, but educate yourself on the different mating strategies that men and women employ. So here's my advice:
        1. DO.NOT.DATE.HER . Hard next her. Wipe her number from your phone. Block her on all social media. Do not let her determine the conditions of the relationship. She just fucked you over bad and tore your heart out. Nothings going to change and there's no point in re-visiting this.
        2. Get to a gym and begin lifting. It's the only thing you can do now. 4 to 5 times per week doing weights, cardio, and core. Begin eating healthy and stop drinking for now. Go into "monk" mode while you lick your wounds. This will take about 9 months.
        3. Remove all reminders of her from your house and toss 'em in the dumpster.
        4. Begin exploring all of the stuff on the internet regarding human mating strategies. Start with therationalmale.com. Separate the wheat from the chaff (there's a lot of noise out there)
        She was the epitome of assholishness. She was dishonest and lied to you and probably re-wrote the entire relationship history to her friends and more importantly, to herself, so that she doesn't come off as a bad person. Unfortunately, she is.

        Here's the hard part; This is your fault. Everything you've been told about what it means to be a man in the 21st. Century means nothing when a woman's limbic system is calling the shots. It's how you make them "feel" no matter what they say. You cannot negotiate desire with all of your good deeds and promises of a future if she's bored. If she needs that biochemical buzz that comes with a sexy new man and you've become a provider, then you're done. It's just a matter of time before she jumps.

        Don't forget that nearly 80% of all divorces in this country are initiated by women. Only 16% of those are because of deal killers like substance abuse or domestic violence.

        They fall out of love with you because you don't make them tingle anymore. They're "unhappy".

        This is a tough one, brother. Just remember, the only one you can control is yourself. There are 3.5 billion women on this planet. Improve yourself and focus on your mission and pretty soon this kind've stuff won't matter.

        Good luck.
        Last edited by Lawnguy; 04-02-2017, 03:59 PM.

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        • #5
          I agree with Gregory and Lawnguy. I would also recommend a full-panel STD test, for the peace of mind of eliminating anything nasty you got from her and her (probable) extra-curricular activities.

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          • #6
            Localvet - so what has happened since you originally started this thread??? Did she make contact with you, and want to come back, or ??? What did you do, or what is your current plan moving forward??? Please share!!! My guess is that SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED ...

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            • #7
              She said she never intended this move out to be the end of us. She wants to meet and have coffee and talk. She wants to stay together. We have had a few of the standard text fights, but she says she loves me still. I can not imagine trusting her again ever, and everyone i know would turn thier backs on me if I took her back.I do think she is selfish and imature, saw signs of it and this confirms a lot. I am doing ok, still in shock a bit and not excited to deal with dating again, but I am not seeing any sane way I can take her back and feel comfortable.
              Last edited by localvet; 04-08-2017, 05:20 PM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by localvet View Post
                She said she never intended this move out to be the end of us. She wants to meet and have coffee and talk. She wants to stay together. We have had a few of the standard text fights, but she says she loves me still. I can not imagine trusting her again ever, and everyone i know would turn thier backs on me if I took her back.I do think she is selfish and imature, saw signs of it and this confirms a lot. I am doing ok, still in shock a bit and not excited to deal with dating again, but I am not seeing any sane way I can take her back and feel comfortable.
                We know what would be smart, and what your head thinks is the right thing to do. But what does your penis think? What does your penis want to do?

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                • #9
                  She is ot, but a selfish lay. Wants me on top while ahe lays there. So I think lays like thatare a dime a dozen.

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