Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover - Attitude Adjustment: Do Not Appear Cheap

The Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover

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5) Don’t appear cheap. Midlife bachelorhood happens to men from all financial walks of life. Some of us are wealthy, others are dirt poor – and many are somewhere in between. Becoming a midlife bachelor itself may involve significantly changing the economics of who you are and how you live your life. For example, you may have been just fine financially as a married person – but after your divorce, you find that alimony and/or child support has made you extremely cash poor … and that may continue to be true for quite some time. I’ll address the economics of midlife bachelorhood later – but right now, I want to plant a critical idea into your head. No matter what your situation, ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST NOT TO APPEAR CHEAP. Why? Because women do not like a cheapskate!

Do not misunderstand me – I’m not suggesting that you go out and burn money unnecessarily. What I am saying is that you make wise choices with how you spend your money, and particularly with how you appear to spend it. If you are really poor, you can avoid appearing cheap (for example) by making a woman dinner at your house versus taking her out to eat. Don’t tell her you cannot afford to go out – but rather spin it as you want to cook for her. [Hint – don’t do this on your first date either … reserve this for later on.] It all comes back to being a positive person, and not complaining, etc. Do what you need to do in order to keep your budget under control, but keep it all positive and happy.

My buddy, Mike, is one of the worst cheapskates I know. [As if he didn’t have enough challenges, right?] Anyway, Mike is not poor by any means – but he is always focused on making every penny scream when we go out. For example, if he joins me and a group of my male and female friends when we go out to happy hour once a week or so – Mike is always whining about the price of the drinks. I can recall many times where Mike would say things like, “Dude – these beers are $4.00 each … we could get a twelve-pack for the price of three beers, and be sitting on my couch.” … which is true, but there wouldn’t be anyone else there! And when the check comes, instead of everyone pitching in some relatively fair amount – Mike is eyeballing the check, and coughs up exactly what his portion was … without regard to the tip. “Dude – here’s my seven dollars. I’m not paying for that girl’s drink – she’s your friend.” Good grief – it is one thing to think it and do it, but it is another thing to announce it! Mike ought to wear a shirt that says CHEAPSKATE on the front and back to pre-announce his condition to the waitress, and to others who join us. Cheap is not sexy – so avoid the appearance of being cheap at all costs!

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