Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success
Step 3: Figure Out What Kind of Woman You are Looking for
and Date Her / page 3
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Focus on Meeting the Right Type of Woman. After at least a year or two of being single and dating different types of women, you should have at least some idea of what is out there and also what key qualities of a woman are important to you. You might also have learned something new about yourself – like you have a particular attraction to certain types of women (like blondes or Latinas or large boobs, etc.). Hopefully you have also dated women who have characteristics you know are incompatible with you in the long-run … such as excessive drinking, or throwing punches, or yelling at you in public, or being jealous, etc. Based on what you have learned about yourself, make a list of what you are looking for in a woman, and also what you are NOT looking for. [This doesn’t necessarily have to be a written list – but that helps.] Assuming you want a long-term relationship (which most of us do), you need to actively seek a woman with the features you desire.
How do you meet her? That is the $64,000 question! The answer is highly dependent on what you are looking for in a woman. If you are religious, then the answer might be a little easier – you look for her at church and church-related functions. If you don’t meet her at your church, then change churches. I do not mean to mock religion by suggesting you choose a church based on where the single women are … my point is rather that you expose yourself to different congregations with the hope of meeting someone suitable. I’m not a religious person so I’m not speaking from experience – but I do have a fun story to tell. I’m Catholic, and one of my friends named Robert is a severe Catholic … he does the Bible reading at the Sunday Masses, participates in many of the local church-related events, etc. Years ago, he invited me to start going with him to the weekly Catholic adult education classes at the church – which was on a weekday evening. I asked him somewhat jokingly if there are any single women there – and he said “Yeah – sure … some, I suppose.” The point of going was for the Catholic lecture, not the women – but I remember thinking to myself, “hmmmmm”. So I attended one of these sessions – and there were about twenty-five adults of various ages there – including a handful of women. After the lecture, two women came right up to me, and introduced themselves … noting that they had not seen me there before. This was very friendly of them – and I appreciated it … but these women were HUGE. I guess at the time I looked like fresh meat to them – not sure if they wanted to date me or throw me on the barbeque. Anyway, my friend, Robert, got a great laugh out of the whole situation – he knew these women were shark-like, and that they would try to get me!
How do you meet the right woman if you are not religious? The answer rests with what you find important in a woman. It might also be a function of what ethnicity you prefer. You need to try your best to place yourself wherever your “target” female is likely to be found. This can be very difficult to do with precision, but it can be done more generally so that you at least increase your odds of meeting someone with the desired characteristics. If you like career women, go to restaurants where well-dressed women congregate for happy hour – not the local biker bar. If you think physical fitness is critical – try to focus on meeting women at your gym. [Maybe even join a second gym to mix things up a little.] In general, try to place yourself in locations where the type of woman you want is likely to hang out. It may work – it may not. You can also try on-line dating, and tailoring your profile to attract specific types of women – but try not to sound too exclusive, as that can be a turn-off. Just try as many new locations or options as you can – and remember to not let rejection slow you down. You have to be deliberate and proactive in your search – the woman of your dreams typically will not come to you, rather you need to go find her.
The key to finding the right type of woman is to keep dating different women until you meet her. Keep in mind that some women are “sleepers” – good catches but difficult to recognize them as such at first glance, or on the first date. So keep an open mind, and if you enjoy hanging out with a particular woman – then keep dating her until you know for sure whether she is someone you’d like to keep around for an extended period of time. If you decide she is probably not a good long-term match for you, then I encourage you to break things off in as friendly a manner as possible … so that you can continue to possibly network through her. Your “Miss Right” (or “Ms. Right”) might just be one of her friends … but you will never meet that friend of hers if she thinks you are an asshole!
Next >>> Step 4: Periodic Re-evaluation of your ML Bachelor Strategy
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