Types of Women - Stalker

Fundamental Truth #7 (continued) / page 9
Types of Women

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Types of Women – Stalker
While a caterer centers her life around you, and does many things to make you happy – a stalker takes things to a whole new level. You can find yourself dating a stalker, or (more likely) the stalker is a woman who you recently broke up with. If are dating a stalker, it probably won’t last – or maybe shouldn’t last too long … because she will fast drive you nuts. What is a stalker exactly? The formal definition of a stalker is someone who persistently observes a person out of obsession or derangement … and this is definitely true. My definition of “stalker” is a little more detailed – I would describe a stalker as someone who is constantly concerned with where you are, what you are doing, and what you are thinking. A woman stalker will always want to talk to you … so she will call you often. When you are not around, she may go through your belongings (to search for something – anything such as evidence of cheating). She may follow you without your knowledge, if she is bold enough. And this is all while you are dating her! It could get a lot worse once you get tired of her, and break up. Think about all the TV shows or movies you’ve seen where women do crazy things … like follow you when you are out on a date, or watch your home from across the street, or drive-by a bunch of times each day … yikes! All of this stalker behavior is really rooted in low self-esteem, and a desire to be needed or wanted by someone. There are different degrees that a woman can be a stalker – mild cases are fairly common, but more troublesome cases can be extremely menacing, and might indicate a need for intervention on the part of law enforcement, the court system (restraining order), and/or psychiatric care. As a midlife bachelor, you’ve got to keep a look out for early signs of stalker behavior – so that you can recognize the path the woman is on, and make your own personal decisions accordingly.

I cannot say that I’ve ever dated an extreme stalker – so I don’t have a true horror story to relate. But I do have some good examples. One woman I dated was from out-of-state – she was a customer service representative for the company I was working for, and we got together at a conference. She seemed really nice – she had long flowing red hair, and appeared intelligent and fun when I first met her. During the first weekend that I brought her out here, however, she revealed a side of her that was difficult to digest … she kept telling me that I had been with too many other women before her, and that she thought I was “dirty” (say what???). I had sex with her anyway, and it was really awful – no fun. She cried, and I felt bad. So I basically told her at the end of the weekend that I really didn’t think we were compatible – then I put her on a plane, and I thought I would be all done with her. No way – little did I know that despite all the drama she that she output, she really loved me deeply (huh?) … and she kept calling me and calling me. She would call me 15 or 20 times each day … leaving messages if I didn’t pick up. It was driving me nuts, and having polite but firm talks didn’t seem to slow her down any. I eventually had to be mean, and told her to stop fucking calling me! That slowed her down quite a bit … and as I continued to ignore her, she finally “got the message”, and stopped calling. Thank goodness she lived in another state, and not locally – as I know she would have been at my doorstep every single day. Yikes!

I’ve dated a few other women who had stalker tendencies. One woman (that I had only been dating for several weeks) used to call my home often from a FAX machine phone at work. As soon as I answered, she would hang up. And when I did the *69 trick (which calls the number that just called you), it would always be a FAX. Since I had caller ID, I could see the number of the FAX – so I called the receptionist of where this new girlfriend worked, and asked the receptionist for their FAX number … and it matched up with the number that was pestering me. That same day I promptly dumped the woman for phone stalking me. If you think that I overreacted, then think to yourself – if the woman was calling my home ten or so times each day before we even slept together, what might she be capable of after a physical relationship starts? I didn’t want to hang around and find out – no way!

A really good stalker story that you already read about concerned my friend, Gerard – this was under the False Starts section. He wouldn’t take “no” for an answer … went to her work … called her all the time … peaked in her window at night … forced a confrontation. That was a true horror story for the woman involved, and my friend to this day doesn’t recognize that he was a major stalker! Things like that (and worse) do happen out there – so you’ve got to be careful! My best advice to all midlife bachelors (and bachelorettes, for that matter) is to watch out for any odd stalker-like behavior – and when you see it, deal immediately with it very firmly. In other words, make it painfully clear that stalker-behavior is unacceptable. If they persist, then dump the person ASAP. If they continue the behavior, ignore them at all costs … do not engage them any further. If things continue for more than a week or so, then get a restraining order, if possible. If their stalking is not severe enough for a restraining order, then just totally ignore them – and sooner or later, they will go away. Just don’t let a stalker interfere with your ability to enjoy your life.

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