I cannot say that I've ever dated an extreme stalker - so I don't have a true horror story to relate. But I do have some good examples. One woman I dated was from out-of-state - she was a customer service representative for the company I was working for, and we got together at a conference. She seemed really nice - she had long flowing red hair, and appeared intelligent and fun when I first met her. During the first weekend that I brought her out here, however, she revealed a side of her that was difficult to digest ... she kept telling me that I had been with too many other women before her, and that she thought I was "dirty" (say what???). I had sex with her anyway, and it was really awful - no fun. She cried, and I felt bad. So I basically told her at the end of the weekend that I really didn't think we were compatible - then I put her on a plane, and I thought I would be all done with her. No way - little did I know that despite all the drama she that she output, she really loved me deeply (huh?) ... and she kept calling me and calling me. She would call me 15 or 20 times each day ... leaving messages if I didn't pick up. It was driving me nuts, and having polite but firm talks didn't seem to slow her down any. I eventually had to be mean, and told her to stop fucking calling me! That slowed her down quite a bit ... and as I continued to ignore her, she finally "got the message", and stopped calling. Thank goodness she lived in another state, and not locally - as I know she would have been at my doorstep every single day. Yikes!
I've dated a few other women who had stalker tendencies. One woman (that I had only been dating for several weeks) used to call my home often from a FAX machine phone at work. As soon as I answered, she would hang up. And when I did the *69 trick (which calls the number that just called you), it would always be a FAX. Since I had caller ID, I could see the number of the FAX - so I called the receptionist of where this new girlfriend worked, and asked the receptionist for their FAX number ... and it matched up with the number that was pestering me. That same day I promptly dumped the woman for phone stalking me. If you think that I overreacted, then think to yourself - if the woman was calling my home ten or so times each day before we even slept together, what might she be capable of after a physical relationship starts? I didn't want to hang around and find out - no way!
A really good stalker story that you already read about concerned my friend, Gerard - this was under the False Starts section. He wouldn't take "no" for an answer ... went to her work ... called her all the time ... peaked in her window at night ... forced a confrontation. That was a true horror story for the woman involved, and my friend to this day doesn't recognize that he was a major stalker! Things like that (and worse) do happen out there - so you've got to be careful! My best advice to all midlife bachelors (and bachelorettes, for that matter) is to watch out for any odd stalker-like behavior - and when you see it, deal immediately with it very firmly. In other words, make it painfully clear that stalker-behavior is unacceptable. If they persist, then dump the person ASAP. If they continue the behavior, ignore them at all costs ... do not engage them any further. If things continue for more than a week or so, then get a restraining order, if possible. If their stalking is not severe enough for a restraining order, then just totally ignore them - and sooner or later, they will go away. Just don't let a stalker interfere with your ability to enjoy your life.
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