Midlife Bachelor

August 9 , 2007
Page 3 of 3  (pages 1  2  3)

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Me – I’ve gone nuclear a few times in my life … typically this was my response when I found out someone had cheated on me.   The older I’ve gotten, the less reactive I’ve become overall – but even to this day, cheating is the single most likely reason that I will “go nuclear” on a woman.   There have also been times when I went nuclear on a girlfriend for repeatedly yelling at me.  You see - I don’t like to be yelled at, in public or in private.   I had this hot Latina nurse girlfriend for a while who was a major showgirl – she seemed to enjoy yelling at me both publicly and privately … and there were a few times that I went off on her.   The termination of my relationship with her was characterized by her “going nuclear” on me – and then me “going missing” on her.

My description of how my relationship with the hot Latina nurse ended illustrates a mix-and-match or a combo breakup approach – where multiple strategies are employed in succession.   The nurse and I fought hard, and then I went missing – permanently.  [Yes – she wound up trying to call me … but after all the turmoil in my relationship with her previously, I was just so done with her that it was easy to stare at the Caller ID and not pick up the phone.]   You can also use the friendship approach, and then “go missing” to drive home the point that you are serious about ending the relationship.  This “go friendship” followed by “go missing” is my own most common combo approach – it is what has worked best for me historically, and is my preferred exit strategy.

As a midlife bachelor, I am a big fan of brevity and simplicity – which is why this article (although long for a MIDLIFE ARTICLE) is fairly brief considering the subject matter.   Many midlife bachelors (particularly newer midlife bachelors) may not necessarily realize the importance and efficiency of being decisive and firm when dealing with the end of a relationship.   You might even find yourself on the receiving end of a termination discussion – where you are the one being dumped.  If that is the case, just go with it – don’t challenge it.   If a woman says she is breaking up with you – just hit the road, and go quietly … and do not look back.   Some women will try to breakup then makeup with you repeatedly – and trust me, it is easier to just keep her in your rearview mirror the very first time it happens.   Being dumped always sucks, by the way.  ;o)

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