Midlife Bachelor

December 16 , 2007
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She Believes Her Weight Prevents her Dating Success
Being overweight can be a huge challenge for women to overcome in the dating world.  Many believe they cannot find a good guy BECAUSE they are overweight … or they believe they won’t find a good guy until they have successfully lost a lot of weight.  There may be some truth to that – but it is not universal.  I mean that plenty of men are attracted to larger-size women.   Take a look at the Midlife Poll on the home page of midlifebachelor.com … the poll asks “Are you attracted to women with big asses?” … then look at the results.   More men are attracted to women with big asses than are not!  This does not mean that such men are also attracted to severely overweight women … but some are.   My point – no matter who you are, how much you weigh, or what you look like, there IS someone out there who is attracted to you.   You just have to keep putting yourself out there to find him.   And just like I told my other friend, Barbara, at the very end of the MIDLIFE ARTICLE Five Types of People Who Date Online from a Woman’s Perspective, you cannot take it personally when someone you meet or go on a date with decides you are not right for them … because it is just part of the process of dating and being single.   In other words, I told her she has to kiss a lot of frogs before she finds her prince … which means that there is no shame or harm in meeting people … with each new person you meet, you are one person closer to meeting the right one.

I told Maria that she should try online dating – and that she should be very honest about everything she puts in her profile.   This means calling out in a polite way that she is not skinny.  How do you do that?   You can post a photo of yourself that shows all of you.  You can also describe yourself as “curvaceous” … or maybe say it in a clever way.  For instance, my midlife friend, Barbara, describes herself as “Smart, Sweet, and Sensual – but not Slender”.   Or Maria could say something like “fun, good-looking, and slender … well maybe two out of three?”   There are a million ways to tell someone you are not tiny – but what I’m advocating here is that the overweight person sound like a happy and fun person who has confidence.  Attitude is everything.

Why call out that you are overweight in an online profile?  If you hide that fact, then you will likely be disappointed continuously when the people you meet find out you are different than what you portrayed.   Yes – you might have to be a little more proactive in terms of you contacting the men on those sites … but I can guarantee you that there are men out there who want to meet you and date you no matter what size you are.   Here are my recommendations for what to put in an online dating profile and how to say it Internet Dating – Making Use of Today’s Technology.

My main advice to Maria consists of two things – clean up her conversations so they are not constantly in the gutter AND to start proactively doing new things to meet men … such as online dating.  Maria needs a fresh start – she has already burned her reputation as a raunchy woman around those she knows and works with … so she really needs a new audience, and that is exactly why I suggested she go online (and get her away from the local real estate community, in terms of meeting new men).

WHAT DO YOU THINK about what I told Maria?  Did I give her good advice, or what would you say to her if she were your friend?  Email us what you think at info@midlifebachelor.com

Read the previous article in this sequence about Negative Laura - it is called Women Who Prevent Themselves from Dating Successfully - Negative Laura

Do you have an opinion on this MIDLIFE ARTICLE?  If so – please email it to us at info@midlifebachelor.com, and it will be placed here and/or on the READER FEEDBACK page, or possibly on the WOMAN'S VIEW page.

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