When one person in a relationship holds all of the power, the other person is at considerable risk of being walked on … trampled upon … taken advantage of in ways that are completely unhealthy.  I, personally, have been on both sides of situations like this – so I think I understand it all from either angle.  What tears me up these days is hearing about situations where one person is severely taking advantage of another … and the one being taken advantage of knows it … and yet they continue to entertain the abuse!

Let me give an example.  One of my best female friends here is the hottest Latina you could imagine.  When she walks into a room – the whole place seems to stop and just stare at her for a moment.  She knows she has this effect on the world, and enjoys it immensely.  She purposely wears clothes and makeup and everything so that she looks like a model.  I’m not going to identify her by her real name – instead I’m going to refer to her as Yolanda.

Stunning Yolanda is dating two men.  One is a super rich, extremely nice multi-millionaire … a man who is a local businessman … roughly ten years older than Yolanda.  He fell in love with Yolanda from the first day he met her … and has been extremely generous with her … making numerous improvements to Yolanda’s home worth tens of thousands of dollars … taking her on several very expensive vacations, … taking her on multi-thousand dollar shopping sprees, etc.  You get the idea – the rich man loves Yolanda, and has spent wild sums of money on her.  Sounds great BUT Yolanda has also been dating another local guy who is known as one of the most prolific playboys of the city we all live in.  Yolanda tells me she loves spending time with the rich man, but enjoys fucking the playboy.  She says both guys know about one another – as she sees each of them several times each week.  She has been completely upfront and honest with both of these men.

When I ask Yolanda about what these guys have said to her when she tells them about the other guy – she said the playboy doesn’t care because they are just fucking one another.  The rich guy, on the other hand, wants her to stop seeing the playboy … and has been trying to offer financial incentives to her to drop the playboy.   Financial incentives?  Rich guy bought her a 3.5-carat diamond engagement ring several weeks ago … which Yolanda refused to accept … but rich guy still persists in asking her to marry him.  WTF is he thinking???

Yolanda asked me for my opinion on all of this.  I told her she is crazy for not dropping the playboy, and marrying the rich guy … because he loves her, and is so generous with her, and will give her the type of life she has always dreamed about.  [Yolanda is 40, and has been married three times previously – all to men who were extremely poor.]  I told her that one of these days, the rich guy is going to get tired of having sloppy seconds, and toss her aside.   She said there is no way that will happen because she knows just how to fuck him the way no one else ever has … and she is sure that will always keep him coming back for more.  Well – that may be fine for now, I told her, but she is not always going to have her looks ;o)  I told her my opinion is that what she is doing is bad karma and will ultimately lead to disaster, but that at least she is being upfront and honest with everyone.

The point of this short article is my message to you who are on the receiving end of a bad situation like what I’m describing.   My message is – have some self respect, and make the decisions now which are good for you in the long-run.  In my example of Yolanda, I’m suggesting the rich guy think about what it would be like to have himself a wife who although she is the hottest thing around, you could never trust.  What kind of marriage would that be?  The last thing rich guy should be doing is trying to propose, and hand her a 3.5-carat ring … that is just pathetic!   He needs to put his boot print on her ass, and go find himself a woman who is less hot, but much more appreciative of him.  JEEZ!

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About the Author

Midlife Bachelor chronicles lifestyle, dating, and relationship experiences and advice to avoid a midlife crisis. Readers like you are often beyond young adulthood in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that want to understand how dating, sex, relationships, and love fit in with our lifestyles.