|An infidelity is something that we wish we never have to deal with or go through, but unfortunately it’s also something that’s out of our control. Many of us have to go through this pain while others (the lucky ones) never experience it. What do you do when it does happen to you? How do you know when a relationship is really worth fighting to save?
The answer to this question is a bit complicated, and there’s no “one size
|fits all” answer that can be given. Every situation is completely different, and even when it may seem like it’s similar to another – it has to be treated in a complete different way.
I must admit that more often than not, women are the ones that have to go through an infidelity – and part of the reason why is our society, and what we see as acceptable behavior from the two genders. I’m not going to go into details on that subject because that’s for a whole other post, but I do want to say that you as a woman must try to make the best decision possible and decide whether your relationship is worth fighting for, or is it just best to end it. It’s also important to always make this decision based on facts, and not on the opinions of others.
I’m always shocked when I see women going to their girlfriends for advice on what to do after they catch their boyfriends or husbands cheating. Half the time these women friends are single, divorced, or simply have a dysfunctional relationship themselves. It’s a lot smarter to seek the advice of someone who has experience, and more importantly has a successful relationship. Doesn’t that make much more sense? At the same time it’s also important to get the advice from more than just one person, but ultimately just take that advice and combine it with you’re own knowledge and then make the decision of staying or leaving.
Often what your best friend or co-worker will tell you are things like, “once a cheater always a cheater, girlfriend” or “you should never stay with a cheater, I’m sorry”. But like I said before, there’s no one universal answer to dealing with infidelity, and the reality is that you’re the only one who really knows everything there is to know about your own relationship. For that reason you’re the only one who can really make that decision, and you should never base it only on someone else’s experiences or recommendations.
Consider this, you wouldn’t quit your job just because your best friend quits hers, would you? Of course not – you would have to think about your own finances, your bills and most importantly come up with a way to survive without a job. The same principle applies here. Just because someone else ends their relationship due to an infidelity, it doesn’t mean you have to end yours, too. You have to think about all of the factors that lead to it, and also determine if there’s a relationship to be saved in the first place. For all you know, maybe her relationship was already at the end of the road and would’ve ended for that reason, or another regardless. Yours could be one that’s much healthier where there are only some minor issues to be worked on.