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Girlfriend Attention Deficit Disorder or GADD

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  • Girlfriend Attention Deficit Disorder or GADD

    I hate to say it - but I am getting bored with the new Klingon Latina girlfriend. She is everything a man could want ... but I'm getting BORED ... and I don't know what to do. Maybe this is a symptom of my extended midlife crisis???? I don't know!

    What can I do to make myself more sheep-like? What I mean by "sheep-like" is how I sometimes see men who succumb to the boredom, monotony, and imprisonment of a pseudo-healthy long-term relationship??? Maybe I am not meant for anything but a string of six month relationships ... and perhaps I should accept this moving forward???

    But what about when I am much older, and need a partner to mutually help out??? Someone with whom we can clean one another's dentures, change one another's diapers, ... someone who (when the time comes) can pull the plug on the machine that keeps me painfully alive????

    I have gotten bored (and/or found faults) with every single woman I have dated. I'm not sure exactly what I am asking here. Should I just chill out, and go with the flow??? I don't want to be alone in my old age ... but today I still feel like a wild animal who should not be caged, at least not for any extended period of time.

    Comments or suggestions????

  • #2
    Oh Greg.....you got yerself what is known as a "conundrum". You caught yourself another one and now you want to "catch and release". Here are my thoughts on the matter.....
    1. Pedestalizing women always leads to disaster. I learned this one with a couple of very short, sharp, lessons. Understand that the flaws were there prior to meeting her and will still be there when she's gone. Just remember, no matter how cute she is, there's some guy out there who is sick of her shit. She's just trying to get by the way we all are. You caught the truck you were chasing now whatcha do with it?
    2. You can maintain frame within a long term relationship but it is a whole lot of work. This is going to require some effort on your part. From what you have described, this woman is down for a relationship for the long haul but you understanding the evolutionary biology that drives mating strategy, determines the outcome. Read.
    3. If you want to stay a "Playa", than stay a "Playa". Again, don't be like me. Communicate your intent for sex only and don't do relationship stuff. You can be surrounded by family but you'll still die alone. Brutal truth. It's the between "now and then" period that it sounds like you're questioning. If a long term, committed relationship is not what you want, than either plate her or dump her. It's kinder and less stressful.
    4. If you're contemplating a shift from your sexy, bachelor lifestyle, then say it. Someone called me a "commitment whore" one time and you know what? They were right. I had never spent significant periods of time alone not being connected to a woman so perhaps it's time for you to change up but, do so with the understanding of why women do the things they do and why men do the things they do. This requires a lot of extensive reading and exploration of the science behind relationships. I would recommend starting with TheRationalMale.com
    5. The other thing you have to be constantly aware of is that men are by default,romantics, and this gets them in trouble. Women view men like a job. If the immediate payoffs for association with you flag, or something changes your economic status or health, they're looking elsewhere. All women are like this. They will act on this sooner or later. Women trade sex for commitment and men trade commitment for sex. This is absolutely non-negotiable. Hopefully they'll make each other's lives a little easier.
    Long term relationships are a lot of work. Marriage IMHO, is a mistake because of legal issues. If you want to do this, than you have to maintain you mission and stay captain of the relationship but....you're going have throw in some Beta to manage all of the comfort testing that will happen. Read.

    Good luck, dude.
    Last edited by Lawnguy; 02-20-2017, 01:42 PM.

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    • #3
      That's some excellent wisdom you have passed onto me, Lawnguy - I appreciate it!

      Originally posted by Lawnguy View Post
      ...
      1. Pedestalizing women always leads to disaster. ... You caught the truck you were chasing now whatcha do with it?
        AGREE COMPLETELY

        ...
      2. If you want to stay a "Playa", than stay a "Playa". Again, don't be like me. Communicate your intent for sex only and don't do relationship stuff. You can be surrounded by family but you'll still die alone. Brutal truth. It's the between "now and then" period that it sounds like you're questioning. If a long term, committed relationship is not what you want, than either plate her or dump her. It's kinder and less stressful.
        I STILL STRUGGLE WITH THE NOTION THAT MAYBE I DO, IN FACT, WANT A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP. I DON'T KNOW!!!
      3. If you're contemplating a shift from your sexy, bachelor lifestyle, then say it. Someone called me a "commitment whore" one time and you know what? They were right. I had never spent significant periods of time alone not being connected to a woman so perhaps it's time for you to change up but, do so with the understanding of why women do the things they do and why men do the things they do. This requires a lot of extensive reading and exploration of the science behind relationships. I would recommend starting with TheRationalMale.com
        I HAVE BEEN AN ANTI-COMMITMENT WHORE FOR MANY, MANY YEARS - THIS IS WHY I STRUGGLE.
      4. The other thing you have to be constantly aware of is that men are by default,romantics, and this gets them in trouble. Women view men like a job. If the immediate payoffs for association with you flag, or something changes your economic status or health, they're looking elsewhere. All women are like this. They will act on this sooner or later. Women trade sex for commitment and men trade commitment for sex. This is absolutely non-negotiable. Hopefully they'll make each other's lives a little easier.
        THIS IS A BRILLIANT OBSERVATION, MY FRIEND!
      Long term relationships are a lot of work. Marriage IMHO, is a mistake because of legal issues. If you want to do this, than you have to maintain you mission and stay captain of the relationship but....you're going have throw in some Beta to manage all of the comfort testing that will happen. Read.

      Good luck, dude.

      Comment


      • #4
        I love Full Metal Jacket. The boot camp scene just had me rolling on the floor with laughter. Be the Pilgrim.

        Comment


        • #5
          Gregory, if you follow this wild hare and dump her, you will regret it within the month, possibly beginning an unhealthy string of on-again-off-again episodes. Stick it out for another month, I'm curious to see if this mood passes. Oh, and add some black fishnet stockings to the box where she keeps her Goth make-up.

          Comment


          • #6
            I feel you really need to explore why you keep getting bored. Also, who says a string of 6 month relationships is bad if that is what makes you happy? Long term relationships aren't for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is feeling you need to conform to this "norm" and then finding yourself married and miserable, possibly having affairs and making a bigger mess of things. Figure out what makes you happy. If you aren't, figure out why and work on it. Just make sure you figure it out before you require someone to change your adult diapers and help you out of a scooter (those are cool). There is something about 65plus yr old men still being players that really make me roll my eyes. Don't know why, if that makes them happy, who am I to judge? Still does though. Don't make me roll my eyes at you Gregory. Overall, do what makes you happy. What I think I'm hearing is you are not happy in a relationship or out of one. That is concerning and up to you to figure it out.

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