Fundamental Truth #5 Don’t Confuse NICE with INTERESTED

I have personally seen so many of my midlife bachelor friends confuse or mistake someone who is being NICE to them with someone who is INTERESTED in them as potential date.  I’ve seen this happen so often that I feel obligated to dedicate one of the Fundamental Truths to this subject.   The main message here is – just because a woman smiles, and says something nice to you DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN that she is interested in you!

I have had a number of my friends absolutely fall in love with young waitresses because they THOUGHT the waitress was giving them signals.  NOT TRUE – a good waitress will smile at all of her customers, and also be nice to all of them.  In other words, that waitress you think has the hots for you – she might just possibly be A VERY GOOD WAITRESS!   Imagine that?

What I’m talking about here is not limited to waitresses – it could be anyone who is employed and whose function it is to serve you.   Waitresses are one most common example.  Others might include hotel employees, real estate agents, financial services people (bank tellers, financial advisors, etc.).   Anyone either whose job it is to serve you, or who can potentially earn income from you – those are the women who you should be careful when trying to interpret the meaning or motivation of their behavior toward you.   Of course, if they kiss you and start rubbing up against you – then you’ll know to forget what I’m telling you here.   But more often than not, someone is being nice to you for a reason OTHER THAN being interested in you as a midlife bachelor.   Now if you are thinking that the stripper you met at a topless bar last week was really into you – think again.   You are only an ATM to her!   Besides – strippers make terrible girlfriends!

Yes, women who are interested in you will be nice to you – I’m not suggesting otherwise.  Just keep your head straight and your thinking cap on at all times, and don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of … or permit yourself to expend energy unnecessarily when the potential professional motivation of a woman’s niceness should otherwise be fairly obvious to you.   Trying to understand people’s motives can only help you in life overall – independent of midlife bachelor issues, right?  Part of the fun of being a bachelor in midlife includes not just trying to figure out women and the motives behind their actions – but takes into consideration the fact that women don’t always (or often) behave rationally or predictably.  Many times women are unpredictable … and do things that defy conventional wisdom.   This leads directly into the next fundamental truth concerning the sanity of women.

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About the Author

Midlife Bachelor chronicles lifestyle, dating, and relationship experiences and advice to avoid a midlife crisis. Readers like you are often beyond young adulthood in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that want to understand how dating, sex, relationships, and love fit in with our lifestyles.