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I’m a 42 year old single man with a heart of gold.  I have had success with women throughout my life, but nothing that has ever lasted in terms of a long-term relationship.  I’m looking for love, but I feel handicapped.  About 6 months ago, I started having sexual performance issues so I started taking testosterone.  While that has helped get me started, I have suddenly turned into a “two pump chump”.  It has gotten so bad that I don’t feel that I could ever satisfy a woman sexually anymore.  I am in a bad spot since a recent break up with someone I dated casually for a year.  She knew my issues and seemed okay with it.  When I started feeling deeper about her, she backed off and I lost her.  She said she wasn’t able to give me

what I need.  She has a healthy sex drive and needs more than I could possibly give now so she satisfies herself in other ways.  I know that sex is only a part of a relationship, but to me it helps reinforce intimacy and closeness.  With my lack of ability in this area, I feel like I will never be able to have that again and I’m entirely lost.  I get caught up in my head thinking about her with others, and I lose my mind. Not angry towards her, mind you, but angry at my helplessness.  I feel hopeless and alone.  Any feedback would be appreciated.


Hi – thanks for writing in.  One of the women that I have been involved with was very tight … and because of her being so tight, I was a “two pump chump”.  What I did to get past this was to put on a condom for the first 30 minutes, or so … and then after she got off, then I would remove the condom, and then BOOM (I would get mine).  That way everyone is happy.  You could also go down on her first for a while – to get her to her first O, and then use the condom, as I just mentioned.  [Condoms can work quite well for this issue because you don’t feel everything quite the same way – since there is a layer of latex in between you and her.]

Now I’ve heard there are creams you can use which will decrease the sensitivity if you rub it onto yourself.  I’m not too familiar with those creams, and I’m pretty sure there are a lot of scams out there – so be careful.

You could also go back to the doctor who prescribed you the testosterone, and see what types of solution he has to offer – as I’m sure there is also a medical solution to this issue.  But for the sake of simplicity, I would first go down on her, then use a condom for 30 (or so) minutes, and then take the condom off.

You can also use a combination of techniques that can increase your stamina – which means you can last up to four times longer than you do now, if you follow the program precisely. The program that has received high marks from my readers here is called Extreme Stamina:

Click Here for Extreme Stamina Video

Good luck – let us know how things work out either way, okay?

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About the Author

Midlife Bachelor chronicles lifestyle, dating, and relationship experiences and advice to avoid a midlife crisis. Readers like you are often beyond young adulthood in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that want to understand how dating, sex, relationships, and love fit in with our lifestyles.