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Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success

Step 3:  Figure Out What Kind of Woman You are Looking for
                and Date Her

<<< back to Step 2: Conquer the Basics & Start Dating ..... next page >>>

Let’s now assume or presume that you have mastered the art of dating … that you can ask a woman out, have fun on your dates, and turn a woman into your full-time girlfriend if you wish.   Since you supposedly know the mechanics of what you are doing, now might be the time to for you to start looking for someone you want to date (versus someone you simply can date).  The transition from being “able to date” to “dating who you want” is actually quite huge – and I don’t mean to minimize that hurdle by any means.  Some guys never make the transition … or never get to the point of being able to date successfully to begin with.   If you recognize these individual steps you are going through, and self-analyze where you are failing – you are much more likely to develop your own self-corrective action plan … which is Step 4 (which I’ll discuss shortly).

To successfully transition from Step 2 to Step 3, you need to have some sort of idea what kind of woman will make you happy in the long-term.   This is a hard question to answer for many of us.  Many midlife bachelors initially focus on the wrong attributes – like basing requirements purely on looks, and/or great sex.  It seems like the longer I have been a bachelor, the more I have focused on a balance of characteristics … nice-looking, nice teeth, good family, high integrity, and easy-going seem to be the attributes of women that I have enjoyed dating the most.   Of course, my own history is spotted with exceptions to women with those qualities.   For example, whenever I have changed girlfriends in the past, I usually go from the “quiet conservative” type over to the “hot-looking party chick” type, and then back again.   For example, Joyce was the hot divorcee I met on-line – she was very quiet and conservative (except in the bedroom) … but honestly, I got kind of bored with her over time … and so the next woman I dated was Debi the hot Latina nurse … who drank excessively, but was a ton of fun in the bedroom as well as overall.   They say the hottest fires burn out the quickest – and although Debi lasted more than a year, that relationship was probably doomed from the start (because she was such a party chick).   I knew in my heart when I was dating Debi that the woman I needed long-term was someone more conservative … someone who didn’t drink huge amounts of alcohol every night … someone who didn’t yell at me in public places …  someone more like Joyce, but who I wouldn’t get bored with.   Mine is a tall order – and maybe that is one reason why I’m still not married!

You’ve got to figure out what type of woman is right for you.  You have to date a bunch of different types of women to know what suits your personality the best over the long haul.  As I mentioned earlier, you cannot jump to a particular conclusion in your first year of midlife bachelorhood (rebound scenario) because you just have not experienced enough of the women out there to know for sure what is best for you.  My advice is that you give everything time … the time for you to date different women, and be better self-educated on what YOU NEED in a relationship in the long-run.   I caution you to look past good looks and good sex – those things fade out over time … they are the last things you want a long-term relationship based on.

Next >>> How do you know what "the right kind of woman" for you is?

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Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success

   Step 1:  Set your short-term & long-term dating objectives

        How long have you been single?

        Do you want to stay single?

        Are you better off being single?

        Rebound – Does fear of being single drive your behavior?

        Understanding your current needs vs your longer-term needs

        Define your objectives

               Midlife Bachelor Objective Roadmap

   Step 2:  Conquer the Basics and Start Dating   

        Developmental Dating

               Identify a Potential Date

               Asking for the Date

               The First Date with Any Woman

               Watch for Signs or Signals

                     The Look

               Saying Goodnight or Goodbye on the First Date or Two

                     Goodnight kiss

               The Three Date Rule

                     Time to Dump her?

               What’s Next After Three Dates?

        Lead Generation – Finding New Women to Date

               Get Out and Be Seen

                    Always Say Something

                          Use What You’ve Got 

                                Exploit your personal strengths

                                Minimize Your Weaknesses

                    Maximize Your Opportunities

                          Plant seeds in the overall community of women

                          Leverage your friendships

                               Go on a Blind Date

                          Pick the low-hanging fruit first

               Make use of Today’s Technology – Internet Dating

   Step 3:  Figure out what kind of woman you are looking for and date her

        How do you know what the right kind of woman for you is?

        Focus on Meeting the Right Type of Woman 

   Step 4:  Periodic Re-evaluation of your Midlife Bachelor Strategy