As midlife bachelors, we must recognize that we live in a superficial world where appearance plays a large role. Notice that I said “appearance”, and not “good looks”. Good looks can help out tremendously, but is not a requirement for successful dating. [If only good-looking people got dates, then we average-looking people would have died off as a race decades ago, right?] Now if you are saying to yourself, “Man – if a woman doesn’t like me for what I look like right now, then I don’t need her.” … then you should probably close your internet browser window right now, and go finish your beer and weed – because no one will ever be able to help you until you take the first step toward recognizing that everyone can always use a personal appearance makeover.
So what is involved in this personal appearance tune-up? The answer varies – and is a function of your personal hygiene, the way you wear your hair, the clothes you wear, your age bracket, where you live, and what age and ethnicity of woman you are trying to focus on attracting. [A really good female friend can often help you out with a lot with suggestions – just make sure that female friend has good taste, and knows you well enough AND your target woman type well enough to give you some useful feedback.] For now, let’s assume that you do not have any such good female friends – or that maybe you want a midlife bachelor perspective to compare to what a woman friend might tell you. Keep in mind that I am writing all of this to you from my home in Southern California – which is a distinctly superficial part of the world. What I mean is – I’m giving you a Southern California perspective … which might be a little more extreme than what could be relevant in say, the Midwest. If you think that what I say here is whacked, then just consider it as input – and ADAPT, NOT ADOPT. [I learned that the “adapt, not adopt” approach from a VP at where I work. He told me this in the men’s restroom one day a few years ago.] By “adapt, not adopt”, what I mean is – take it as input, and make whatever portion of it that applies to you work for your specific situation. Now, I’ll start with the basics – personal hygiene.