Fundamental Truth #9:
(continued) / page 7
Dating Women with Children can be Challenging

Key Principle #6:
Do not badmouth the father of the children, no matter what

No badmouthing
Saying negative things about the father of the children of the single mother you are dating never does anyone any good - so you are better off not doing so.  If the mother and/or the children make derogatory statements about the father/ex, it is easy to agree with them or join in the frenzy - but absolutely nothing good will ever come from it.  Think of this as a karma thing - spreading negativity can cause a cloud to form over your head - and the bigger the cloud, the more likely it is to rain down upon you.  No wants to be standing in rain - so my advice is to say nothing with respect to the father of the children.  [You can THINK whatever you want - but what you SAY is what defines you as a person.]

The fact is - he is the father of that child or children.  At some point in the past of the mother, that guy was obviously very important to her - so respect that.  If she badmouths the father, this says a lot about her as a person and as a mother, right?  I mean - she is damaging the relationship of her children with their father by badmouthing him ... plus she is inadvertently teaching the children that it is okay to talk badly about people.  Those are not good motherly qualities!  So if you notice a single mother's behavior of this sort - think carefully about it ... because YOU might be the next target of her criticism or badmouthing.
Get Your EX Back

Now don't misunderstand me here.  I am not advocating that you defend the actions of the father (who you probably don't even know).  No - instead I am advocating silence on your part.  Speaking ill about anyone can never do any good.

Okay - that was a pretty serious lecture.  Now it is time to have some fun.  Here are some role-playing scenarios that I just came up with.  First the mother will say something negative about the father of her children, and then I have a suggested positive-sounding response.  [None of these conversations would ever take place in the presence of children, by the way.]

How to Meet and Date a Wealthy Man or Woman

Single Mother Negative Comment:
    "Their father is a fucking loser doing time in jail right now.";
Suggested New Boyfriend Positive Response:
     "I've heard that jail sex is outstanding."

Single Mother Negative Comment:
     "Their dad is so fucking poor that he doesn't own a car, and has to ride the bus to work."
Suggested New Boyfriend Positive Response:
     "Some very cool people ride the bus - you just have to take the time to get to know them."

Obviously the role plays above are a spoof - I just made them up to lighten the tone of this section a little. The real bottom line is - try never to badmouth the father of the children of the single mother you are dating.  Everyone is better off by you saying nothing, or at least not antagonizing the situation.  No matter what - you should be a role model for the child or children ... and role models do not talk trash.

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