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I am 45 and have been divorced roughly two years.  I think I’ve done a fairly good job with online dating, and have had some kind of relationship with eight or so women during my new-found freedom. Most have been short-termers – meaning they have only lasted a month or two.  But the best in the sack of those have been the women who were the craziest.  I’ve also dating some women who were just flat out boring, and they turned out to be the worst in the sack. Several of the women were boozers and were only fun when they were plowed. Is this what dating is all about?  I mean is everyone either boring, or crazy, or drunk?  Two of the women were plump – and they were eager but the attraction was not there.  The women who were the craziest were the best in bed, by far – why is that?  One was so crazy that several times when she

got mad at me over stupid stuff, she started throwing things at me – and this was in my own house! But she was great in the sack – she would yell and scream (in a good way), and made me feel truly alive and turned on. But she was so crazy when we weren’t in bed that I just couldn’t stand her. I guess I’m asking if this is what I should expect moving forward as I continue to date at this age?


I love your comment/question – “is everyone boring, or crazy, or drunk?”  And the answer is – yes, pretty much!  There are variations of each, even combinations – but that one question sums up midlife dating nicely!  Well done!

Here’s what I’ve learned in my years of being single.

BORING – if you have even the slightest hint when you first start dating a woman that she will be boring, then either accept that you, too, shall shortly become known as “Bob Boring”, else run for the hills.  Being boring is hard to hide – it sometimes manifests itself as laziness.  In my world, I often ignored early signs of a woman being boring or lazy … often because she was hot.  Well that hotness does wear off, and what you’ve got left when the electricity dissipates is BOREDOM.  So beware of that.  Here are two articles here on related to boring women, for reference and further reading:

Types of Women – Dullard
Types of Women – Housecat

DRUNKENESS – I’ve dated many party girls in my own bachelor days, and they are always a ton of fun … for a while.  And “a while” could mean three months, six months, or even up to a year … but eventually I’ve always grown tired of a woman who just drinks or parties all the time … regardless of how hot she is.  I just burn out.  And the party girls who have experienced my burnout would probably tell you that I turned boring … because that is what they saw … but the truth is that I just lost my attraction for them.  Here’s another good article here on that goes into more detail on the subject of party girls:

Types of Women – Party Girl

CRAZY – the craziest women have always been the best in bed.  I think that’s because they have a lot of energy, and a lot of emotion, and if they are not releasing that energy and emotion in bed, then it somehow turns evil, and gets directed at your head … either in the form of verbal abuse, or possibly through projectiles.  ha ha  There are several good articles here on crazy women which you might want to check out:

Women are Crazy
Types of Women – Psycho
What Makes a Women Turn Psycho?

So that’s it – welcome to dating at midlife.  If you think you’ve found something different than what’s described above, then see if that holds true over time – and report back.  By the way, I’m not saying that any of these types of women are bad … I think some can be quite good.  Enjoy people for who they are!

What do YOU think?  Use our COMMENT SECTION below, or you can feel free to discuss this in our Midlife Forum.

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About the Author

Midlife Bachelor chronicles lifestyle, dating, and relationship experiences and advice to avoid a midlife crisis. Readers like you are often beyond young adulthood in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that want to understand how dating, sex, relationships, and love fit in with our lifestyles.