One Midlife Bachelor’s Experience …
The Horror of Erectile Dysfunction
I’ve had the same girlfriend for the last three years or so, and about two years ago – my father went in for some serious surgery … and passed away in the hospital during an extended two-month post-surgical recovery. When Dad went into the hospital, I put the rest of my life on-hold, and was there every single day. Watching him deteriorate took an incredible emotional toll on me, personally. At home, I had absolutely lost all desire to have sex with my girlfriend … as sex was the furthest thing from my mind at the time. Fortunately, she and I had had a good year or so together prior to all this happening – so she knew there was something out of the ordinary going on with me … and she was very understanding and patient. My father’s funeral came and went – and then another six months passed, and I still had the same issue … I just did not have a sexual thought in my mind. My girlfriend and I started to have problems – she thought I no longer was interested in her. It increasingly was causing a lot of friction between us – until I finally broke down, and told her that I have some kind of major problem … not with her, but with myself.
I promised her that I would take the necessary steps to figure it out, and to get myself (and us) back on track. Now it might sound like this admission on my part happened easily – it did not. Inwardly, I wondered if I had just gotten bored with her – but she is very good-looking and perfect for me in many ways … so I am still reasonably sure it is not her. What made my problem obvious to me was that here was this beautiful woman naked in my bed … wanting me to fuck her … and I just was not interested. That idea ran so contrary to the rest of my history as a bachelor that I could not ignore the problem. Plus it didn’t happen just once – it happened every day. My girlfriend would cry, and I would be embarrassed. I got to the point where I did not want to discuss it – and that caused her imagination to run wild. Was I cheating on her? Was I no longer interested in her? Did I think she was fat, and was just too polite to tell her so? Finally, after a lot of soul searching on my part, I sat her down and told her that it was definitely something going on within me – and had nothing to do with her. I told her at that point in time that I thought it was something in my head – since it all started about the time that my father went into the hospital. [I learned later that although the demise of my father may have contributed to the problem, it was not the actual cause of the problem … it was more coincidental that both events happened in the same time period.]
If you have E.D., then I know that you are aware of the problem. I only had E.D. two other times ever in my life – and those were single-instance type occasions … nothing that lasted more than one day. And in each of those two previous E.D. instances, there was something very emotionally disturbing going on with me at the time that was completely unrelated to the woman I was about to have sex with. I’ll briefly describe those two prior single-occasion circumstances so that you can put everything I’m telling you into proper perspective. The first instance of E.D. was right after my divorce – with the very first new woman that I was going to have sex with. She was a very hot young honey blonde named Marissa who was actually a sorority sister of my ex-wife. I met Marissa at the tanning salon I was going to – and I don’t remember how we got started, but one night after work she was over at my apartment wanting to have sex. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t do it – it was too close to the end of my recently-concluded stormy marriage … and I just didn’t have the correct mindset in place to bang this hot chick. By the way, I was only 25 years old at this time – so it was definitely mental anguish (not hormones) that caused me to not be able to perform. How did I get past this instance? The girl and I waited one more day, and then I was able to knock it out with her correctly! But that one instance of E.D. bothered me tremendously at the time.
The second single-occasion instance of E.D. for me happened when Becky, the blonde bombshell that I was having massive sex with left her boyfriend for me. We were naked in her new apartment – where there was no furniture yet … because she hadn’t moved in. And boom – I couldn’t get it up. I think it was because I was still in shock that Becky up and left her boyfriend (who she had been living with) for me … plus I was in the process of breaking up with my girlfriend in order to be with Becky. There was just a lot going on in my head at the time … and we were both shocked that I couldn’t get it up. [Remember – this was the woman who I was routinely having sex with three to five times a day.] Once again, however, I waited exactly one day – and things were right back to normal … we were knocking it out like there was no tomorrow.
So up until age forty or so – I had not really experienced anything except a highly occasional brush with E.D. … never anything that lasted for more than one day. But the “occasional” situation changed into a chronic condition at about the time when my father went into the hospital. Then many months passed without any improvement on my part. I’m going to pause here, and point out two things that I have learned which I want to explicitly pass along to you.
- E.D. can be occasional … once in a blue moon. Probably nothing to worry about. When this happened to me, I was cured in one day without doing anything except letting time pass.
- E.D. can be chronic or perpetual … where it happens pretty much all the time, every day. This is where I was roughly two years ago … and is the reason why I learned as much as I did.