Two different female friends of mine very recently asked my opinion on why they cannot seem to find a boyfriend or even date successfully.  This other article covers the first friend of mine (Laura), and below covers my second female friend, Maria.   You might wish to check out the first article on Laura before you read below about Maria … at the top of the article on Laura is a good overview of my history with both of these female friends.

Maria – Her Rauch Scares Away Decent Men
In her early twenties, Maria was this smoking hot Latina who was married to a guy who was worth a fortune – and after her divorce in her late twenties, Maria was among the wealthiest and most happening women in the city I live in.  I was dating her best friend at the time I met Maria – and I was always impressed with Maria’s generosity – she was always throwing parties, always taking people on vacations with her … she had a great life.   To make a long story short, through a series of misfortunes, Maria pretty much lost everything she had – and wound up starting over at square one (from a financial standpoint) several years ago.

Midlife has not been especially kind to Maria in terms of her weight.  In her twenties and early-to-mid thirties, Maria was this very hot little thin Latina.  Over the last seven years or so though, Maria has gotten pretty thick – she is definitely overweight.   She is roughly 5 feet tall, and weighs maybe 160 pounds?  That is just a guess.   [Oh – I’m not trying to be critical here … I’m just stating the facts.   I’m not perfect myself – I’m 20 or so pounds overweight, and have thinning hair at age 43.]

From my point-of-view, Maria has two issues which prevent her from getting quality dates, or a quality long-term boyfriend:

  1. Maria is constantly talking about raunchy things
  2. Maria believes her weight prevents her dating success

She Constantly Talks Raunchy
Let’s take a quick look at these issues.   Maria is a very fun female friend to hang around with – I view her as “one of the guys”, and I’m reasonably sure that any man who might be initially interested in her also winds up thinking the same way I do … and that is because of the way she talks.  She is always talking about going to strip clubs.  She is always talking about nasty sex – like how her prior Catholic boyfriend used to like to stick it in her ass.  She told me the other day when I was in the car with her how she had a threesome in her early 20s with her boyfriend at the time and one of her really conservative girlfriends … who wound up crying afterwards.  [She said that she told her girlfriend at the time, “Why are YOU crying?  He was MY boyfriend!”]   She also talks about how she used to blow her boyfriend of a few years ago on the golf course.   Or how she used to fuck the owner of one of the local automotive dealerships in the back of his 7 Series BMW in the orange groves.

I’ve seen Maria in action around guys that she has gone out with – and the conversation always winds up covering one of the topics similar to those just discussed … sex, strip clubs, etc.  Now I’m no prude – but I can definitely tell you that most guys do not want a girlfriend whose entire vocabulary centers around raunch.  I mean – sure it is occasionally entertaining, but that is her whole language.  I think potential dates for Maria think of her MAYBE as a one night stand … but that is about it.   And it is all because of what comes from her mouth.  She needs to stop  the raunch, and focus on saying positive things … just like what is discussed here for men in the section entitled Attitude Adjustment/Mental Makeover 2.0.

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About the Author

Midlife Bachelor chronicles lifestyle, dating, and relationship experiences and advice to avoid a midlife crisis. Readers like you are often beyond young adulthood in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s that want to understand how dating, sex, relationships, and love fit in with our lifestyles.